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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 483
Location: Dumb posts & crap stories
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 Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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This obviously isn't meant to be serious. It's more of a ridiculously over-the-top thing that takes cheeseball action above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks for reading.
HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Caleb the Jackal
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Joined: 11 Jan 2005
Posts: 369
Location: Are you crazy!?
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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Nice. I saw a few small errors but this was obviously a fun piece for you so I will not nit pick.
Good job.
Caleb |
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SYSTEM
The Hammer
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 3744
Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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When the Men in Black zap you with a neuraliser, you're left standing there, with a silly grin plastered on your mug, completely messed up surroundings, wondering what the hell happened.
That's exactly how I felt after reading this.
 - ...
On the other hand, I gotta say, the hilarity never stops. Over the top, you know, it's funny, but that's what a lotta kiddies do; using all-caps and everything. I like how you made fun of all of it. Hahaha.
- Dave.
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"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.
"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations. |
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 483
Location: Dumb posts & crap stories
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks, Caleb. And this was quite fun to write, yes... it's liberating, kinda, to not be restrained by logic or reality. |
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 483
Location: Dumb posts & crap stories
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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Whoa, Dave. We were two minutes off from posting at the same time.
And thanks: yeah, I was poking fun at all the melodrama that people write into their stories sometimes. |
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Pooman
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Joined: 18 Aug 2005
Posts: 86
Location: Kentucky
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Hahahaha, nice job! I'm looking forward to the other chapters. I didn't even mind the Spartan (I'm a hardcore fan) dying! 9.5/10 |
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 1073
Location: In the tower above the earth
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| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:42 am Post subject: |
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| Hahahaha, that was good, congrats. |
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thedarkfire
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Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Posts: 1045
Location: Thousand post land. Oh look! A pidgeon!
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| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 8:48 am Post subject: |
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| Oh man, absolutly preposterous. I love it! |
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Wellington
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Joined: 30 Sep 2005
Posts: 110
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | ULTIMATE ZOMBIE PARATROOPERS, ALREADY FEET FIRST IN HELL |
I think this just about covers it: hilarious. Awesome parody of those writers we all know so well. You have a great sense of humor. This was just a fun read!
But now I must go, so in the words of Mr. Powers, LET'S GO, I GOTTA TAKE A DUMP. |
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CoLd BlooDed
Moderator
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 706
Location: Noit acol.
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| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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Very nice, Severian, but don't quit your day-job.  |
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russ687
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Joined: 06 Aug 2004
Posts: 720
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 12:10 am Post subject: |
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I'm convinced: You're the kind of comedy.
| Quote: | | They sounded like they were permanently sucking down helium. |
Oh man, I almost dropped my glass of water.
| Quote: | | And seven fingers, too, which came in handy sometimes… |
I was laughing too hard to think, "what the fuck is Sev thinking?" 
| Quote: | | he spat out some of the ones that were still fluttering a bit (those gave him a tummy ache) and choked down the rest. |
Where do you come up with this stuff?
| Quote: | | "By the way, did I ever tell about the time when I bludgeoned a man to death with a plunger?" |
I can imagine him sitting there, having just told half a dozen stories about how he'd killed someone with some absurd instrument, now talking about how a plunger had clinched another's life. Oh man, hilarious. 
| Quote: | | No, these were ULTIMATE ZOMBIE PARATROOPERS, ALREADY FEET FIRST IN HELL. |
That phrase just avenged everyone's use of that damn slogan. My god, next time someone says that, I'm going to send them a link of this story.
| Quote: | | Mr. Powers screamed, "ALL YOUR POWERS ARE MINE!!!"; then magic started rippling into him, great swathes of jagged white lightning cleaving through the sky to flash into him, instilling him with potent alchemic power. "THUNDER FISTS OF HELL!!!" he roared, and with that-- his fists now crackling with mystical powers-- he began to move through the zombie helljumpers. |
Don't do drugs, Sev.
| Quote: | | "Minions," the Colonel commanded, "remove this man from my sight." |
"...and make me a sandwhich," the Colonel added.
Oh man, I can't point out everything that I laughed at. Nice job; sometimes completely pointless and absurd comedies are a nice escape. The ending was brutally immature, but I liked it. Now, just don't think of ever doing this again. 
-Russ |
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Sterfrye36
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 419
Location: The Good Old US of A!
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 5:29 am Post subject: |
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I almost didn't read this because of the title, but I'm glad I did.
_________________
FFPotW Winner Total: 2 (Longsword R: Midway 8/8/08 ) (The Letter 11/14/08 )
"I...have...power issues." -Phae |
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thedarkfire
Member
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Posts: 1045
Location: Thousand post land. Oh look! A pidgeon!
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 7:00 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | "...and make me a sandwhich," the Colonel added |
Hey that sounds like me. |
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MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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To be honest, I was tempted to read the story because of how rediculous the title looked, but my first glance at it was on the FF page and not here. And since the author's name was right below... I stuck it on a piece of paper and decided to read it later.
Now's later.
| Quote: | | He pulled it out, and the hammer, with it's head as big as Mr. Powers' and it's handle the size of a 32-oz ketchup bottle, crackled with godly energy. |
That was the first bit that caused me to laugh out loud. It was simple so random and unexpected that I couldn't restrain myself from letting loose a chuckle.
Sev... We need to talk about that stuff you're on...
Very interesting use of Norse mythology in there. You stuck in just a few ( ) references more than I would have expected. Ragnarok? Nifty. I'm surprised you didn't work in Azgard.
Overall... I wasn't quite sure what to think. It was somewhere between hilarity and stupidity. Where in between I am not sure. You need help.
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