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Contravene Birth 07.04

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Contravene Birth 07.04 Reply with quote

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Contravene Birth 07.04
Posted by russ687 (russ687@hotmail.com)
6 January 2006, 9:40 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=russ6870106060940131.html
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
All in a contravene birth of mistakes and conspiracies.


I have a feeling that you've been saving that up since the beginning, Russ. Did you? Or was it just a spontaneous stroke of brillance? (Man, I'm a born poet)

The ending lacked the horror, the action, or the suspense that marks some of your best chapters, but then, this is the end. This reminds me of Act of Conspiracy-- how somber everything feels in the end, when the combined stupidity of all the men and women involved crashes down on them in a single swipe of the guillotine.

I'm already looking forward to your next one. Maybe it can be a sequel to this?
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russ687
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sev wrote:
I have a feeling that you've been saving that up since the beginning, Russ. Did you? Or was it just a spontaneous stroke of brillance? (Man, I'm a born poet)


Heh, do you want the truth or the "master schemer" story? The latter? Well then, I must say that from the very beginning the title had been incorperated into those last three lines, to offer a strong ending that really left the whole thing wide open--wait, did you say the former? Oh, well, yeah, it was kind of spontaneous. Embarassed

Thanks Sev, I'm glad that the slow ending doesn't ruin or break the story. Man, like I've said, there are so many loose ends, but that is part of what makes this ending fun. I even love thinking about where this could go. Smile

-Russ
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Indeed, russ. And I'll be first in line to read your next project.


As was habit, this ended on a somber note, and one presented quite slowly and passively. It's your style, something that you've done in the past more than once, and yet again you do so.

The whole of the series was a good one. It strayed from the norm of Halo writing, as your work most often does, to lead down a quite interesting path. The repeat of the ending scene did well to add a sense of foreboding through the entirity of the story, making the reader guess and constantly refine those guesses as more information made itself apparent. Overall, a very good presentation. Well thought out.

The content reminded me of your series Present Darkness from the beginning of last year. Infection and Covenant. Not quite as defined though. And a much different sort of environment and set of circumstances. Though the endings were, in a way, strangly similar.


All of it was quite interesting, and very entertaining to read. As I said before, I will be patiently awaiting the arrival of your next project. The material you present grows with each presentation. Keep up the excellent work, russ. I know I'll see you in real print eventually.

Good luck.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All I could envision in my head as I read on from the very beginning was pain, pure and unbridled. I was actually wincing as you described in horrid detail the slow touture of Marcus.

I find something very interesting in this story, most of your works actually; "There is always a bigger dog, even if the biggest known dog doesn't even know it". I present this as evidence of the scope of your story. This one in particular made me catch this, whether it's on purpose or not. The biggest dog here, definitaly the eerily-flood-like virus.

Anothe...ah I'll stop rambling. I probably could go on forever about this series so I'll just stop.

Best work yet russ!
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russ687
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MCC wrote:
The content reminded me of your series Present Darkness from the beginning of last year. Infection and Covenant. Not quite as defined though. And a much different sort of environment and set of circumstances. Though the endings were, in a way, strangly similar.


It does, come to think of it. Almost a mirror image, if you will, since in that series the Covenant were experiencing a viral infection that was causing mass chaos and discord, while here it's humans on the brink of the same problem. I guess all that remains is for a Covenant land invasion to complete the mirror.

Thanks, MCC.

darkfire wrote:
"There is always a bigger dog, even if the biggest known dog doesn't even know it"


Right on point. There's always something above, waiting, watching, or manipulating. Now think about how true that can be in real life. Confused

Thanks, darkfire.

-Russ
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Wellington
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A fine ending to a fine series, russ. I'm sorry to see it over.

I can't comment on how this relates to your earlier series, since I'm pretty new here, but I did notice the slowing of action, and the revelation at the end. I found it to be exceedingly appropriate, and really it worked very well. It was a truly horrible disease you conceived here.

As expected, detail and writing style was excellent. I found no errors to speak of.

Kudos.

- Arthur
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russ687
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Art, I appreciate the comment. Smile

I glanced through it again and noticed some small errors. Sorry for those... especially in a series ending.

-R
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

- Ya know, the opening reminded me of some songs from Cannibal Corpse.
The various assortment of pain, broken bones, injuries. Ugh. Naw, I was never good at biology. On dissection day, the teacher used small, delicate tools to carve up their unfortunate test subject frog, pointing to the organs and guts, meanwhile I sat at the back of the class and lost what I paid a few dirty bucks for; a hamburger, double cheese, with tomato, lettuce, and pickles, fries with pepper, a can of grape C'Plus, and ketchup!

What can I say? Everything, everything, every little dying breath of Doctor Marcus, his dying thoughts, everything's presented in stark, picturesque, horrid detail and seat-gripping, fingernail-shredding style that just keeps you wanting more, right from the first words, to the harsh, brutal ending. I enjoy how rather than just see the -mechanical- parts of Marcus' last moments, everything passes so... slowly. The detail slows us down, and in doing so, not only helps to drive up the suspsense factor, but also helps paint that ominous, black picture in our heads. I like that there.

Gotta say, this is a Bloody Hell Yeah. In more than one way. An excellent read.

- Dave.
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russ687
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Dave. Glad you liked it. Smile

-R
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