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My First Adventure against the Covenant Juggernaut

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:49 pm    Post subject: My First Adventure against the Covenant Juggernaut Reply with quote

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My First Adventure against the Covenant Juggernaut
Posted by Matthiasthe14th (Sturgeonsurgeon1984@yahoo.com)
21 December 2005, 9:29 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Matthiasthe11221052129021.html
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh...I laughed at this one. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to laugh at it or not...but I did anyway.

I couldn't find any complaints. Your writing balanced out good detail with good imagery. I'll just wait until others start commenting to bring up anything I missed.
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Tin Can Man
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was very good. I liked it.
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CrazyGrunt
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 2:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesome story!
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RogueFox
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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I enjoyed it.

A different twist, to be sure.
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice, alot better than the 'I got sucked into my X-Box one night and fought the Covenant with the Chief!' sorta stories, though similar. Keep 'em coming Matthias.

Oh wait, one thing. A little unrealistic behaviour from your character upon witnessign the devastation in his neighbourhood; try and make it a little realistic Smile
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Matthiasthe14th
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Joined: 25 Dec 2005
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Location: Je m'en fiche.

PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2006 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, you guys are the best. Wink

Quote:
Oh, wait, one thing. A little unrealistic behavior from your character upon witnessign the devastation in his neighborhood; try and make it a little realistic.

It's supposed to be unrealistic to a point, but, yes, you're right. There's a line there that you're not to cross, you know? Very Happy
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JCDentonCZ
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Joined: 14 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
All those kids! I had to save them! However, when I got there, I noticed that--due to newly enacted anti-gun laws which prevented everyone from defending themselves--everyone had died tragic, horrible deaths.

Poor saps, I thought, I knew it would happen sooner or later, Covenant or not.


Hehe. I liked that a lot. Very Happy

Great story, much better than those overly serious stories. Keep it up. Smile

- JC
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Matthiasthe14th
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Joined: 25 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 1:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, thanks for the comment, JC! I didn't expect my story to be ressurected from the dead! Very Happy

Thanks for all the constructive critisism, guys!
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Johny117
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Joined: 22 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha ha, funny story. I like it.
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