HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

A Halo 2 Nightmare: Part 1, The Nightmare Begins

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 2:10 pm    Post subject: A Halo 2 Nightmare: Part 1, The Nightmare Begins Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

A Halo 2 Nightmare: Part 1, The Nightmare Begins
Posted by The Meep (HaloFanatic101@yahoo.com)
16 December 2005, 2:11 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Meep1216050211011.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ShotgunGoBOOM
Member


Joined: 13 Aug 2004
Posts: 18
Location: Hiding in the reamains of Halo 004's control room from the flood (Shhhh!Don't tell them!)

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 1:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This seems alot like the crappy Into Halo story I wrote.

MCC can be more specific, I suck at giving out negative comments, i'm to soft-hearted.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Dagorath
Member


Joined: 03 Apr 2005
Posts: 264
Location: Energy level 1.5

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 12:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, I thought it was pretty funny. Though you could have gone a lot more into it, describe everything. Afterall, nothing can beat real life when it comes to graphics. Anti-aliasing, anistropic filtering, and great physics. Oh, HDR as well. Oooooh.

You could also have gone into all their feelings and stuff.

Use the Code as well. It'll help you out.

Good start!


Last edited by Dagorath on Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Commander Demitri Wolf
Member


Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 1073
Location: In the tower above the earth

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh GOd, not another 'I was playing Halo 2 when suddenly I was warped insdie the game' story...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Mainevent
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 796
Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya know Meep, this wasn't THAT bad.

Sure, a bit cliche, and definitely in need of some help, but altogether not that bad for what I assume is a first time.

Spell out those numbers more. 0=zero, etc

You split the paragraphs up alright, which didn't terribly take away from the flow, but indents would have been nice. [indent]

The descriptions could have been a bit better, but overall were the probably the best part of this story.

Hopefully you have a reason for this happening, and hopefully its good. So if you pull this off- Bravo.

The character setup was okay, had some alright attempts at humor in there, but hopefully now this gets good fast.

Otherwise it'll bomb.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Dagorath
Member


Joined: 03 Apr 2005
Posts: 264
Location: Energy level 1.5

PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It can go really psychological if you think about it. Sort of Lord of the Flies - ish (if you haven't read that book, you don't deserve to, well....).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group