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Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 2-Chapter 6

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 10:55 am    Post subject: Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 2-Chapter 6 Reply with quote

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Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 2-Chapter 6
Posted by Mind_Affecting_Parasite (pbplayer_24@yahoo.com)
26 September 2004, 12:47 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mind_affecti.0926040047497.html
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MC's Cousin
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The writing was pretty good; though I was disapointed by the lack of indentation. Forget how to post MAP?
The introduction of some of your characters was odd (aka-the poker table). But it was alright, good actually.
As for the time/date stamp... well, I think you'll be alright. Some of that in FS is a bit confusing (darn those Forerunner crystals), but I suppose you used the right date (depending on how you use it).

Overall, this series is pretty good. Good inclusion of new characters. A few details (story-related) weren't the clearest to me. And just keep up the good work.
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Mind_Affecting_Parasite
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Location: Believe me, If I knew, I'd tell you.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry about how crappy the formatting looks on this one. I know I posted with indents, but for some reason they didn't work.

I wanted to give the introduction with my new csat of characters a warmer feel. Even a goofy, fun loving feel; like a group of friends. I hope I didn't go to overboard with it.

And so, will that be all?
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you may have gone a little over with the poker thing. The talk on the 'Hog was alright, just a little odd/off. But the poker table seemed kinda like they were all friends that were half drunk around a table in some basement, not like trained Marines. But, I suppose it was decently okay.

Anyway, don't let yourself get confused with the whole Sep 22 to Aug 30 switch thing. It got me too.
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Jenkins
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Joined: 18 Aug 2004
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Location: Trapped inside myself...man I'm lonely

PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 3:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool Niiiiice! That was friggin' cool! Nice game man! Gotta go before passing out!
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SYSTEM
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 1:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's definetely a problem with the HTML compiler.

- Dave.
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Swift'n'Painful
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seems to be a little relaxed, like the calmness before the storm comes, it has humor in it, which is a good thing cause too relaxed is just plain out boring. And I already like the McCall guy, a big ole-fashion red-neck from the South, with his chewin tabaccey in his mouth. I'm also interested to find out what the "new weapons" might be. Overall I'll give the story 2 thumbs up.
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