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That Old Feeling Ch 1: Live to Fight Another Day

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4351
PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:20 pm    Post subject: That Old Feeling Ch 1: Live to Fight Another Day Reply with quote
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That Old Feeling Ch 1: Live to Fight Another Day
Posted by !viva! (vivabrad@hotmail.com)
18 November 2005, 5:26 pm

[url]http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=!viva!1118051726491.html[/url]
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p0iz3n0us
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Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 22
PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Work on spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, description and dialogue, and just everything. I think you rushed your story. It could have been more interesting. As a piece of constructive criticism: Rewrite your story alot. Let people read it before you submit it and you will have a much better story. Check out my fan fiction : Chronicles of Sergeant Johnson. Holla!!! Cool
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