HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

This topic is for posting comments to:

Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 1-Chapter 5
Posted by Mind_Affecting_Parasite
18 September 2004, 10:40 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mind_affecti.0918042240256.html

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Pretty good. Characters and detail was alright, though the part with the Spartan sniper could have been improved, and the talk between the Commodore and Commander was slightly vague in parts.
Some extra details were needed here and there. And you had a few grammar and spelling mistakes.

Overall, keep up the good work. But, don't stop practicing.
_________________
-MCC

Jenkins · Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 3:20 pm Post subject:

OO I like alot! You never fail to use detail and that says volumes. Anyway your story made me hungry.