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Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 1-Chapter 5

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 1:04 pm    Post subject: Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 1-Chapter 5 Reply with quote

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Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 1-Chapter 5
Posted by Mind_Affecting_Parasite
18 September 2004, 10:40 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mind_affecti.0918042240256.html
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MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 11:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty good. Characters and detail was alright, though the part with the Spartan sniper could have been improved, and the talk between the Commodore and Commander was slightly vague in parts.
Some extra details were needed here and there. And you had a few grammar and spelling mistakes.

Overall, keep up the good work. But, don't stop practicing.
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Jenkins
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Joined: 18 Aug 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Trapped inside myself...man I'm lonely

PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 3:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OO I like alot! You never fail to use detail and that says volumes. Anyway your story made me hungry.
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