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117: part 2, Reunion

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:29 pm    Post subject: 117: part 2, Reunion Reply with quote
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117: part 2, Reunion
Posted by Andrew Russell (spartan_117@iprimus.com.au)
8 October 2005, 1:07 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Andrew_Russe1008051307351.html
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Wellington
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Joined: 30 Sep 2005
Posts: 110
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'm afraid I didn't like it. The material was stale, not to mention inaccurate: the Master Chief didn't take part in the action on Reach. Regardless, there was nothing really new here, nothing to captivate the reader.

As for your writing style, I felt like I was going through a checklist, not a story. It sort of moved along without much explanation or description. Try and take it slower and more detailed next time and the reader will appreciate you for it.

I apologize if this comes across as unnecessarily harsh.

2/5
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