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Revival of the Covenant: Chapter 3

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:16 pm    Post subject: Revival of the Covenant: Chapter 3 Reply with quote

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Revival of the Covenant: Chapter 3
Posted by Mizbehavin (mizbehavincy@gmail.com)
24 September 2005, 4:14 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Mizbehavin0924050414381.html
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Mizbehavin
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey guys It's finally finished, I couldn't get everything I wanted to put in this chapter because I wanted to leave some questions unanswered. I had to kill off earlier than I wanted to, but it was for the best. As you can see I used the CODE this time around, but I still managed to forget to put Joseph's thinking scene in italic. That really wasn't the ending I was planing on, but I wanted to show this was the last happy time the Spartan's will have until this is over and by over I mean the very last fight not when they get off of Halo. New characters will be added and a few more will be killed off. You will notice that I don't like killing off my characters for good most of them will stay dead while others will come back. If I bring a character back it will be for a good reason and will make sense of how they came back (using Halo terms of course) I hope you enjoyed that chapter, at least some what. I'm building up to the first major plot twist and big battle. Chapter 4 will take an even slower pace at the begining than chapter 3 did,but will pick up more towards the middle and end unlike 3 did. Also I would like to say that I have another story coming soon titled "I-10." Which stands for Interstate 10. In case someone didn't know that will take place during the Covenant Human War.

Lata Wink
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 12:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Halo Installation 01


You're wrong. Right there.

Its Halo Installation 001

Why?

Because, it was Installation 004 in Halo 1, in Halo 2 it was Installation 005.

The Forerunner structures are always in the triple digits. Don't make that mistake again.

Quote:
There were other members, but they met the same fate as Ackerson when the Flood invaded Earth


The shit just hit the fan. There goes the only clutch of morale humanity ever has.

Quote:
"Now that you've all decided shut up we can proceed with today's meeting. As you all already know our forces have been attacked by a alien race calling themselves the Covenant. We all know what happened to these aliens right?" posed General Wyatt.
The Flood attack before the Covenant Jihad??

I'm confused.

Quote:
" You may have been the director of ONI during the First Covenant invasion, but you aren't going to be this time, old man."
You should've put that before you put the info of the FLood invasion of Earth. T'was too confusing otherwise.

Quote:
The Admiral delayed the Covenant armada, but failed to destroy the artifact which was later found by this faction of the Covenant
Corporal Locklear gave his life in order for the crystal to be destroyed. Which was destroyed, at the end of First Strike it says Truth holding the bag that has the fragmented remains of the crystal.

Quote:
"Joseph, take your men and blow those Covenant bastards back to hell. Do you understand me."
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay tooo fast.

Quote:
"Sir, yes sir. We're moving right now, sir. Spartans listen up ONI has given us the green light to engage the Covenant..." Joseph was cut off abruptly by General Wyatt.

"Sorry, I forgot to mention that we want you to enter slipspace alongside them and figure out their destination first then you can kick their ass."

"Alright new orders, we are not given the green light to engage the Covenant until we've figured out their destination, then we can engage them. restated Joseph
Ridiculously out of character.

Quote:
The Spartans didn't know that they were about to stumble upon the biggest kept secret in the whole galaxy. Halo Installation 01, and also watch one of their team members perish in front of their very eyes. Yes, the Spartans will experience an unlimited amount of misery, until the countdown hits zero and everything changes. The Spartans don't know this, but this is the last laugh they'll hear for a very long time.
Next time put a horizontal rule when it goes from First person to narrator.
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Mizbehavin
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Joined: 18 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I forgot if it was 001 or 001 Iwas going to check but I just wanted to get this one out. The first two paragraphs of this chapter will tie into an upcoming chapter and a later chapter about the Martin Luther. I'm taking a few of these references like the flood invading Earth from Mr.Clark's Fan Fic "The End of War" in the last chapter I read from it they were evacuating Earth from the flood threat. I'm sorry about making this one so confusing it will tie in later with chapters, the extra sentence with Wyatt and Joseph was not meant to be in there, I have no clue how it got back in there. I was typing this one pretty late at night so I definitely made some mistakes. When Wyatt was talking about the Hood being the ONI director during the first invasion, I meant to put he was the director of the Marines and ODST not ONI. I remember the part where Truth was handed the bag of crystal shards by Tartarus, but if I remember right the crystal was still in a few pieces after Locklear destroyed it and Admiral Whitcomb and the ONI guy, Haverson I think, had told the Covenant that the crystal was on board the Ascendant Justice, I remember Whitcomb detonating the Ascendant Justice and Truth getting the shards, but the two main things I can't remember was if Tartarus had said a few more crystal shards were floating around in slipspace and if the crystal was really aboard the Ascendant Justice when it was detonated. I misplaced my First Strike book, I gave my friend The Flood, and I at least know where my First Strike book is. When Wyatt made the statement of
Quote:
"Joseph, take your men and blow those Covenant bastards back to hell. Do you understand me.
I wanted to make the reader now that Wyatt had just got frightened about something that Hood was carrying before he died (like a few secrets). After I posted my story I read it and saw all these mistakes you are pointing out now I didn't know what the Horizontal rule did on this site, others sites have made horizontal rule completely different from what HBO has got. Thanks for pointing that out now I know I can use horizontal without problem. The next two chapters will be like this one, as in not a lot of action going on and more story plots building up. Chapter Six to at least 12 will be lots of action and tying up a few story plots. The only thing I really didn't understand in your comment was
Quote:
The Flood attack before the Covenant Jihad??

I'm confused.
I understood that you were confused, but I don't know where you got The Flood attacking before the Covenant, and what is Jihad? Just trying to be helpful, but please don't type things like wayyyyyy and tooo. It annoys those who are trying to read your comment if theyyyy have tooo read this. Just trying to be helpful, no flaming on my part.

Lata Wink
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Admiral Hood was the only surviving member of ONI from 2552. General Hood is know 127 years old, and Admiral Hood would be at this meeting which would be his resting place at the end of it all.


You can keep a person alive that long, but their minds won't be the brilliant thinker they once were. At that age, a person's brain starts to devolve. Beware, don't switch tenses. That was unnecessary.

It's also thirties. Not thirty's. Be wary of that.

Military types are professional. "But my ship broke down." - That's not professional. Next time, try, "Unfortunately, we experienced severe technical difficulties..." or something along those lines.


Proofread, proofread, proofread. You've got punctuation errors running rampant, and also remember to keep the Covies as they are: formal. Don't break character.

Keep up the good work, try not to get discouraged. Don't worry.

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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Mizbehavin
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Dave, I have been thinking about Hood as I've been typing the next chapter and decided I really didn't want him in there at all. He was a last minute replacement. As for the thirties thing, I am a really bad speller that's why I have tiny spell, but for the last few days and when I was typing the past 2 chapters an error occurs so I have to use my other computer.,When you say formal, do you mean more serious if so I'm clear with you on that. The fourth chapter will be sent in soon along with the fifth, the characters attitudes and emotions will change, mainly the Covenant main characters will change as they begin to expereince more of the forerunner technology and when they finally decide where to kill Law and when to kill him. Thanks for the encouragement Dave.
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