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Rhea (Part 2)

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 2:32 pm    Post subject: Rhea (Part 2) Reply with quote

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Rhea (Part 2)
Posted by Mr Bill Jr V (mr_bill_jr_5@hotmail.com)
12 September 2005, 6:21 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Mr_Bill_Jr_V0912051821541.html
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mr bill
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm just going to bump this up-since anyone who's only reading the first half of this story is missing... well... the other half.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 2:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, am I right in assuming that she's a Spartan I?
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mr bill
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No comment. Smile
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Berconius
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Geezes, how'd I miss this one?

Brilliant writing, all in all. Very well done portion with the self mutilation. I do wonder how she got away, though. All the rest of the story that isn't here. Like what she's doing for a living at the time, what's going to happen to Eric if he didn't take her hair, etc.

Nice to know you're still alive, Mr. Bill.
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mr bill
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Bronc- I was affriad this one had slipped past everyone...

It's bassicaly the culmination of an idea I had been hashing around for a year or so, and I really wanted to try doing something with a Spartan, but could never quite get the angle right- I really like the way this turned out. Of course, I am planning on expanding the Rhea character- what you see here are the extreme; birth and death. Like you pointed out, the 'middle' is basicaly gone. I'm thinking about doing something to fill that in, now that I've got the character dealt with.

Thanks for the comment man!
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Huh, I like the use of repetition as a style in the opening. She did... She did... When it's used that way, and used sparingly, it seems to work so well, like a speech.

Heh, I can't believe I missed this.

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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Berconius
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, a tragedy! I didn't think anyone would ever try a real tragedy in the Halo universe.

It would certainly be nice to read about how she goes insane that way. Quite the opera. A rather ignominuous end to such a character, though. Further expansion might need something (or someone) else to keep the story from becoming totally depressing. Probably not needed unless it gets really long(like a really sad memoir). She's such a magnetic character, though.

Anyway, good luck and the like. Always, nice to see old names among the new.
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mr bill
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 2:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, glad you commneted on the tragic aspect Bronc- my working title for this project was exaclty that, "Tragedy".

I think the end came out a little rushed (hence some of the spelling errors there)...

If there's another story of the Rhea character, though, like Byron, I shall promise delight and entertainment, something uplifting, I assure.
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