HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Transparent Shadow: Episode I

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 7:09 am    Post subject: Transparent Shadow: Episode I Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Transparent Shadow: Episode I
Posted by Aaron (alpha@black-opsehc.com)
8 September 2005, 5:43 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Aaron0908051743311.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Guardian
BANNED


Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 831
Location: Kicked to the curb.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 2:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

""I'm sorry, it's just….the past few weeks have been…….tiring.""

So ridiculously out of character of John.

Spartans are trained to put exhaustion and pain aside in battle.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
spacefan
Member


Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:10 am    Post subject: Your fanfic Reply with quote

Hey-
Just wanted to say that I started to read your fic on HBO then noticed the reference to your website for the whole story. So, went there and I couldn't stop reading it! Great story. Yes, there were some typos, misspellings, and grammar problems but nothing that detracted from the story at all. You should post this story to fanfiction.net--I think it would go over very well.

- Spacefan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
spacefan
Member


Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:12 am    Post subject: Your fanfic-Part 2 Reply with quote

Sorry-
I forgot to mention that Alpha and Bravo really kicked ass for a couple of guys with no names! They put the MC to shame with their antics!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Alpha
Member


Joined: 13 Sep 2005
Posts: 12
Location: In my own little messed up world.

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey thanks for the feedback guys, i appreciate it.
First off, about the "out of character reference" In my opinion if i had said "and then the MC said OMG IM SO SCARED!! And he ran away" THAT would be out of character. I know all about the training of the spartans and how they are trained to put aside pain etc. but if you think about it, I am just putting one of his thoughts into a mental dialogue with Cortana. Outwardly at the same time MC is as stalwart as ever, strong, putting pain aside etc. Even though MC is a gentically and surgically enhanced human he is still human. And if you think about it, including the first three books and continuing off that story line, MC hasn't had a day off for months....even cyborgs eventually get at least a LITTLE tired, (And i thought it added a little mortality to MC) So maybe it is not so much out of character as developing that MC has been fighting non stop for months. *shrugs*
On a side note, im sure you have read the three books and in the books MC is popping stim capsules like they are skittles. lol
Thanks for the positive feedback spacefan. About Alpha and Bravo seeming better then MC (and if you hadn't noticed the story starts to focus a lot on them)...I will be the first to admit that MC could kick either or both of their asses, MC is the bomb. Didn't really mean to make Alpha and Bravo look better then MC. I was instead trying to bring the spotlight off of MC, reason being, I'm not the best writer and a ton of ppl can and do write about the exploits and feets of MC MUCH better then I can or ever will. So i decided to focus and play up more on characters that ppl dont really care what happens to (in the story, I could let Alpha or Bravo get owned and/or killed a LOT easier then letting MC get owned and it would go over a lot better with my readers.) In short i dont really find my writing worthy to make up my own story line of MC...i'll leave it to the experts. And if you think Alpha and Bravo seem invincible, you havn't read enough of the story Wink trust me.....they r REALLY not invincible lol.
And about them being just names without faces....I'm just starting to write a sub plot about the origins of Alpha and Bravo and some of the other characters i have thrown in there. So keep reading and enjoy.
To contact me with any suggestions my email is: alpha@black-opsehc.com
and if you dont know it my site is: www.black-opsehc.com (more fiction on there is you enjoyed this episode)
and my AIM is: Kster19117
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
sdn
Member


Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 121
Location: afk

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If people don't care whether your charatcers live or die, you haven't done your job. Confused
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Alpha
Member


Joined: 13 Sep 2005
Posts: 12
Location: In my own little messed up world.

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol sry what i meant was it would have an effect on my audience just not quite the same as me killing off the Chief of Chiefs. (if an author that i was reading killed off MC I would scream: "NOOOOOOO YOU CANT DO THAT!!! HE IS INVINCIBLE DAMNIT!" while i picked up my computer and threw it across the room. lol) Where as killing off Alpha or Bravo would hopefully make the audience go: "what??!?! you killed him? omg i gotta read more, maybe he will come back from the dead."
to sum up, if someone else was writing the same story, killing off MC would piss me off while killing off Alpha or Bravo is just something that makes the plot a lot more interesting.
*shrugs* then again, who am i to say anything? i am an amateur just writing cause i love putting my imagintion ontof paper. Maybe some ppl will like it, maybe a lot of ppl, and then again maybe everyone will hate it. *shrugs* its fan fiction and im writing it mainly for the pure enjoyment of writing it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group