HBO Fan Fiction

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Waking the Dead (part six): Musings of a Child
Posted by Chuckles
8 September 2005, 3:58 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Chuckles0908051558591.html

[Commander Demitri Wolf]

Moma Mia, Chuckles' Waking the Dead!? Dr. Azrael, hmm , I wouldn't do this justice by nit picking it and saying what I liked, it was all very good; very Chuckles-y, I liked it.

[Bronzemage]

Well... that was, interesting.

After reading about kids playing on swings, traumatised Spartans having pizza, and peace, love and joy, I thought this was going to be a happy story.

It seems I was wrong. Again.

One of the things I like and dislike about your work is the sheer unpredictability of it. One moment everything's philisophical and deep, the next its violence and butchering. I gotta say that while I enjoyed this chapter, the brutality at the end was a little too far. I mean, I know Simjames is supposed to be a merciless killing machine, but... I dunno.

Just as another note (not that I'm nitpicking ) I just recovered from a broken arm, and unless you get treatment pretty much immediately, it's gonna hurt a lot and keep hurting. Unless Ellen went to a hospital, or could somehow rearrange her own bones, there's no way she'd be able to keep the pain under that much control as to keep quiet and move like that.

Keep up the good, very disturbing, work. I look forward to the next chapter... and this mysterious Uncle (maybe Sarah's brother?).

By the way... how do you get so much first hand experience on all this butcherin'?

[Chuckles]

Bronze wrote:

[Bronzemage]

Well said

Now I see this in a different light... thanks.

[Tin Can Man]

That bit with the pictures... great. The ending was very nice. Big satisfied grin over the fact that the kid made Simjanes creeped out, then someone came. Dead baby? Corpses? Cloning technology? 2+2... But knowing chuckles, its probably completely different and absolutely gobsmacking.

[Caleb the Jackal]

WOOOOOOW! That was really, really good. Like the best one yet. I am stumped by this mystirious uncle. Can't wait for the next but oh my LORD! That was good. Best one yet.


Caleb

[SeverianofUrth]

Oh, darn it. Deadline's fast approaching, but still I couldn't resist reading this chapter.

When Ellen's other uncle came, feet stamping and earth-shaking, holy molly, I felt a shiver going up my back. Yes, sir... a shiver. A chill. And it went up my back.

Well, as usual the story was excellent, but right now I'm more interested about what you wrote about the contrast between your writing personality and your real-life personality. People who know me personally and who's also read some of the crap I churn out aren't surprised at all; they go, with a gleam in their eyes, 'wow, that wasn't too bad, but a little gory, don't ya think?' And underneath their lacquered words is the suggestion that maybe, just maybe, I should go see a psychologist. And this is weird, because I'm not depressed or manic at all; I don't dress in black, and I listen mainly to old-school Cream or Derek and the Dominoes. But people tell me that they expect me to appear on America's Most Wanted a few years down the line.

Well, enough about me. You must be really mild mannered (like Peter Parker) if they get a kick out of it. And was this all rather random?

[(Na)Marl]

--When you wrote white armor, I immediately pictured Simjanes in a Stormtrooper suit. And when I read the boom boom boom boom part, I was listening to Click Click Boom. Hehe. I saw a typo in this, but it was still awesome and shit. Poor girl. Poor Simjanes

[Chuckles]

[HELSING]

GOOD one! I might've extended the part where the little girl makes Simjanes take a look at his Will. That was a gem and it could've been taken a bit farther with good results. Other than that I (as usual) loved it and will wait eagerly for the next chapter.

[CoLd BlooDed]

Yes, I saw The Typo, along with a couple punctuation errors, but overall really, really great stuff. I mean, shit, Chuckles, I was actually afraid for the little girls life when she was in the clutches of Simjanes; and I too got the shiver up my spine when the other uncle was approaching.

That dialogue towards the end was straight out of a horror-flick. Fucking be-ee-ay-you-tiful. I could see every moment in a distinct visual within my mind, as if playing in a cinema. And when something like that occurs, I realize that the writing is nothing short of greatness.

Awesome job, Chuckles. Awesome job.

[MasterSushi]

I want to review but I'm too short of breath. . .

So I'll just applaude you. And decide whether applaud has an E on the end or not.


*applause*

[Azrael]

That was a terrific chapter, Chuck. You did incredibly well with the second half of it in particular. And hey! My first cameo!

Your dialouge at the end was great, though I wonder about a little girl's grasp of the english language after having her arm broken and up at 3am. Nonetheless, VERY good exchange between the two.

That scene in the park was a perfect description, and I think it's the best scene in your series so far. Hands down. The whole range of emotions, the imagery of a park that's no longer what is used to be, etc...brilliant. A great scene.

One of your best, while not vintage Chuckles, I think your ability with writing allows you to move outside your usual mood and still delivery perfectly.

-Dr. Az
_________________
...now that's some gritty shizzle.

[Tin Can Man]

Well, she is a Cutlass. I wouldn't be surprised if they were born with caffeine in their blood and a dictionary in their brain.