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Relic Hunting: Part 1

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:21 pm    Post subject: Relic Hunting: Part 1 Reply with quote

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Relic Hunting: Part 1
Posted by Mainevent
12 September 2004, 10:42 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mainevent.0912042242223.html
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Incarnate
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Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it alot its probably one of the best stories i've read so far today. I can tell you've had a lot of practice at writing and your style is well defined and refined. I enjoyed reading this alot and cant wait for more.
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Berconius
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Joined: 15 Aug 2004
Posts: 160
Location: New York/Ohio

PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 7:43 pm    Post subject: Not bad Reply with quote

Some grammatical errors around, but nothing serious. Seems kind of standard, though. Nothing about the plot as struck me as out of the ordinary. Covies going after a relic and humans going to stop them...eh.

Also, those Elites seemed kinda easy to beat. I mean, I'm sure 12 rounds of battlerifle will likely do some serious damage to shields, but they ARE spec op. To be realistic, their shields would probably be stronger. Getting veritably slaughtered that fast also seems rather odd.

Well, good hunting!
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MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was slightly disapointed in a few places Main. There were spots where the flow was off, and things just didn't sound right. Plus, there were the occasional grammatical errors. Detail too. It was fair, better than fair, but could have been improved. Out of practice?...
Anyway, I'll have to disagree with Berconius about the story line aspect. This is like the very first part of this series, so the whole plot has yet to be reveiled. But, I do agree that those Black Spec Ops did seem a tad too easy to kill.
Overall, I like it, and will look forward to the next chapter; however, you still have some work to do.
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-MCC
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Mainevent
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 796
Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I admit I am a bit out of my rhythm. I haven't typed anything in a while, and it messes with you. Give me a bit to get back into my groove.

But don't expect much now, I have the wonderful Category 5 Ivan to contend with this week.
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Helljumper
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Joined: 31 Jul 2004
Posts: 298
Location: Pittsburgh

PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yea it was missing what MCC said.

ODST
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