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Glass and Steel: Pt. 5

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 3:17 pm    Post subject: Glass and Steel: Pt. 5 Reply with quote

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Glass and Steel: Pt. 5
Posted by Random 14-Year-Old (i-rule-2008@sbcglobal.net)
28 August 2005, 8:04 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Random_14-Ye0828052004071.html
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'Nosolee
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 73
Location: Manhattan

PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This was really good. I liked how the story focused on a kid and not on anything super, like marines and Elites.

I'm glad you described the Elite as a monster and not as an Elite, because to a regular civilian it would be a monster.

9.25/10 good work, keep it up.

-'Nos
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Random 14-Year-Old
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Joined: 20 Jan 2005
Posts: 81
Location: California

PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks. I was a little worried that the face-off would seem too fast-paced, though. It honestly felt unnatural to me. But if it worked, then more power to unnaturality!
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Master Chief Spartan- 117
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005
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Location: Team Mate in combat... Waiting to respawn

PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 4:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great Story, a little short though. I liked the end the most. And is it just me or are your stories just getting shorter and shorter?
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Random 14-Year-Old
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Joined: 20 Jan 2005
Posts: 81
Location: California

PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 5:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, some of my stories are shorter than others, but I think it might also be that my language is beginning to flow easier, as is the plot. Really, I look back on GaS Pt. 1 and I just think...huh, what a mess.

It's getting really tough now that school is back. My English teacher wants to kick me from the class already (the BITCH), and that just won't do. Homework is sickening already (list "los numeros en Espanol" from 1 to 200), and it won't get any better. As a result, updates to GaS will be relatively scarce, but I guarantee that this series will NOT take the paths of the unfinished Great Journey and Spartan Wars.

Ren and Ariana will continue their paths.
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Random 14-Year-Old
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Joined: 20 Jan 2005
Posts: 81
Location: California

PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2005 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For anyone who's noticed the front page on HBO, yes, that's me. I'm 15 now, but for the purposes of Fan Fiction I'll stay as Random 14-Year-Old since I've already made a few stories that I don't want to just leave behind.

However, I might decide, after Glass and Steel is dead and over with, to create a new account that doesn't include a variable (like age).

And I know this is off-topic, but it seems off-topic everywhere else, too.

P.S. I submitted Part 6 a couple days ago, so it should be posted pretty soon. Wink Wink
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Giggles the Grunt
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Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 41
Location: In a Methane rich paradise.

PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This series is getting better and better.
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