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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4377
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'Nosolee Member

Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 73 Location: Manhattan
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Alright, I'll try to say everything that needs to be worked on here all in one post as nice as possible...that way when the flamers come everything will have been said already.
1) Code, know it, use it, love it. I bet about 9 out of 10 stories posted here on HBO do not use proper coding. You must, MUST use proper indentation for paragraphs if you want people to read your work. place [indent] before every paragraph to indent it. MS word Tabs and such will not work here. You can find more about coding in the guidelines section.
2) Take your time, develop the characters and explain. To be honest I have no real picture of what was going on in this story. It all seems too muddled into a bigh Halo fiction pile of goo. Part of this is due to lack of [indent]ation
3) Please watch your grammar, punctuation, and spelling. There are many many many places where the sentences are not seperated correctly. Itgets.hardtoread.afterawhile.
There are other things in the story that I'm sure others will pick up on.
I did like how the story was set in a Waterworks-type place.
Work hard on your fiction and have others proofread it, hell any one of us HBOers will surely proofread it if you send us an email.
Welcome to HBO, always good to have new faces show up. It ensures our survival
7/10
-'Nos |
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Boy.I.Like.Halo Member
Joined: 22 Jul 2005 Posts: 47 Location: Kicken ass in outer space
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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E gad. Text wall of DOOM!! NEEED CODE. |
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Pooman Member
Joined: 18 Aug 2005 Posts: 86 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with 'Nosolee. It is pretty cool to see new faces. Good luck on other stories. 7.6/10 |
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