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Halo 2: Defense and Offense - Chapter 2

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:30 pm    Post subject: Halo 2: Defense and Offense - Chapter 2 Reply with quote

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Halo 2: Defense and Offense - Chapter 2
Posted by Dagorath (hoyinshan@gmail.com)
29 July 2005, 1:51 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Dagorath0729050151381.html
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Transcript, transcript transcript. Mind you, this one isn't that bad.
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Myth0117
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

not to bad but i think by Johnson referring to the Sergeant at the armory as "Gunns" is the man's appreviation for gunnery sergeant not his actual name, pretty good though thats just what i think, i could be wrong, keep it up
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Myth0117
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

not to bad but i think by Johnson referring to the Sergeant at the armory as "Gunns" is the man's appreviation for gunnery sergeant not his actual name, pretty good though thats just what i think, i could be wrong, keep it up
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The elevator doors in the room opened, to reveal Sergeant Johnson, a survivor of the destruction of Reach as wellas halo, in a crisp white dress uniform that contrasted with his dark skin.


Don't italicize well, it sounds off. If you must, italicize 'as well as', not just one of those words.

Myth, I'd say his name is Gunns.

Overall, it was quite good, better than most transcripts Ive seen.
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

perhaps he is a gunnery sgt named gunns.
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Boy.I.Like.Halo
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked it the same as the first. I cant wait for the Quarintine zone part.
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Michael Archer
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 8:33 pm    Post subject: story Reply with quote

Don't write transcript!

We already know what happened in the transcript. Why rewrite it? Come up with an orginal idea.
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'Nosolee
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good, is this going to be a transcript of Halo 2 or will it evolve into something more like I'm doing with After Fate?

For a transcript, 9/10
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Sebasman
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is really good!! bungie should hire you as a writer 4 this 1!!!
$ $
_

(This post has been edited by Dave. Sebasman, your account and IP can, and WILL be banned from the site if you do not comply with the rules.)
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Jester
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can write whatever you want, but not everyone here likes transcripts.
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 3:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mmmmm. Actually, I've not seen a lot of transcripts on HBO Fan Fic at all. I'll try.
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sdn
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm pretty sure Guns is his rank, not his name.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gunnery Sergeant=Guns.

Common nickname.
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