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Halo 2: Defense and Offense - Chapter 1

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:30 pm    Post subject: Halo 2: Defense and Offense - Chapter 1 Reply with quote

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Halo 2: Defense and Offense - Chapter 1
Posted by Dagorath (hoyinshan@gmail.com)
26 July 2005, 4:52 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Dagorath0726050452321.html
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Boy.I.Like.Halo
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HOLY CRAP!! I have been waiting for someone to write about the game its self. You are the first Ive seen to come to the plate. Very Good.
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Boy.I.Like.Halo
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will also add that the use of code was good. But... I saw that you said the chief killed grunts jackals ect. But Brutes? Oh I remeber the first strike. Embarassed
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh god, another Cut-Scene Transcript...

Code - 5/10

Transcript - 2/10

Total - 7/10
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

His was decent, Shadow.
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 4:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah! Personally in a story, I don't like the Chief, I don't like the actually Halo 2 storyline.
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

master chief wrote:
His was decent, Shadow.


Well, where do we stand?

Look at it this way. You can have all the writing talent in the world, but unless you open up all sorts of creative and imaginative new things, then you're just ordinary.

Your settings were fine, and styles I'd say were good, but it would be nice to see something YOU made. Not something that someone else made.

- Dave.
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"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best transcript I've read. Nice. And when you said slayer of 'Brutes', they haven't encountered them yet, not until High Charity.
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, that reminds me.

I forgot to say,
- You did a good job, Dagorath.
And for that, I also wish to thank you too, fer puttin' up with me and my ranting and raving.

But, my original words still stand: Creativity is one of the better elements in writing, and it's someone everyone is capable of: Everyone can dream, and have ideas, but unless you harness them and put them to work, they'll remain as dreams, and you'll remain ordinary. So, although you missed out on the "Hell Yeah!" this time, I'm sure next one will get one. Heck, maybe you'll even net yerself two "Hell Yeahs" if you keep this up.

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They encountered Brutes in FS, on the Unyielding Herophant.
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 3:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, thanks Dave. Actually I found writing the transcript quite hard, cos I don't really have Halo 2: I've played it a few times and I looked at the cutscenes. What I'm trying to do now (I'm on Ch 3 right now) is put in more of the Chief's emotions. He seemed a bit 2D in the Halo stories so I'm trying to flesh him out a little.

Of course, little bits have to be added. Lots of fun things from High Charity, perhaps a bit of the Arbiter's history or what he does before going to the gas station.
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