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Long Time Gone Part 13

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 8:33 pm    Post subject: Long Time Gone Part 13 Reply with quote

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Long Time Gone Part 13
Posted by grylsy  (grylsy@hotmail.com)
3 September 2004, 11:03 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=grylsy.09030411033213.html
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you need to watch some of your terms and proceedures. People really don't get a choice to get into Cryo, they either are assigned to it or not. And also, did you have that Frigate on the planet? If you did, you need to fix you details, Human starships aren't made to land on a planet, that's what dropships and other smaller ships are for. If you didn't have your ship on solid ground, you need to work on your descriptions, because it was a tad confusing there.
Oh, and as for Cryo itself, well, maybe you're not all for naked woman, but never the less, people go into Cryo sleep naked. That's right stark naked, no clothes, no uniforms, no nothin'. MC was put into Cryo in his armor because, well, basically 'cause of time, also because it was more convienent. So, work on that. Speaking of which, it sounds like you may have read the books, but all of the critical details are missing. If you have read the books, well, read them all again, and this time actually pay attention. If you haven't read the books, or not all of them, read all of them. They provide a vast amount of knowledge for you.
As for the story, well, unfortunately I haven't read many of the previous chapters, so I'm a little out of the loop. However, I am fairly sure that the UNSC wouldn't send anyone to Reach from EARTH at a time like they were in. Oh, and by the way, is this supposed to be in the current (like, at the time of tFoR?) Halo story? If it is, your time line is off. The year that all of the known Halo stuff happens is like 2552.
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