HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

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A Marine isn't a Marine...
Posted by Kotno (sj_perez01@hotmail.com)
19 July 2005, 9:31 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Kotno0719052131341.html

Zephyr · Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 4:55 pm Post subject:

Good good good good good good good good good good good good good goood good
but....GPS errors hurr and thurr.
_________________
For what is a man profited, if he should gain the whole world, but lose his soul?

Odin of SoS. · Member Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 85 Location: Iraq

sorry i just couldnt finish reading after you said sarge. not a Marine thing. and seeing Marine like marine. just looks insulting. journalists and authors actually get fined for printing Marine lower cased. and your title was fucked up. ill finish reading it though. some time.

Kotno · Member Joined: 17 Jul 2005 Posts: 4

Didn't realize "sarge" wasn't a Marine thing. Coming from an Army background, I certainly heard that word in usage. You're right though about the upper lower case thing, I tried to take note of that but when typing through a story those are the exact kinds of thing you miss, even after editing and re-reading over and over again. That's why you need a real editor to go through it. Thanks for the tips though, I will try to be more careful about it in the future. I don't think though that either of those things should really have any impact on the story, though I do regret those kinds of silly little errors that I ineveitably commit in any writing piece, along with an assortment of other GPS type errors.

As for the title, I suggest you read through the whole story before you make judgement on that, it does actually have a point, and was carefully concieved towards that end. (Note the "..." after the title, the implication being that there is more to it than what is written)

MasterSushi · Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 6:54 am Post subject:

Odin of SoS. · Member Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 85 Location: Iraq

i just dont capitalize in the comment trash. and about the title. it wasnt capitalized properly. thats what i was trying to say. and i finished reading. it wasnt bad.

Zephyr · Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:17 am Post subject:

And-Ahhhh! I seem to have died of irony.
_________________
For what is a man profited, if he should gain the whole world, but lose his soul?

Solidus Snake · Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 2:05 am Post subject:

So what is "A Marine isn't a Marine until he proves himself" suspose to mean, huh? Doesn't make since.

But I guess it wass ok but wasn't all that interesting to me.

Odin of SoS. · Member Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 85 Location: Iraq

funny chief. im sure my stories are fine. i just put one in not too long ago. its called The Log. look it up and tell what you think. its a single short story.

MasterSushi · Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 10:05 am Post subject:

You'd better start capitilising, before I start comparing you to Arbi. You don't wanna be compared a girl now do you?

Syotica · Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 12:40 pm Post subject:

Not too good. You need some help with that GPS syuff my friend.

HELSING · Member Joined: 21 Jan 2005 Posts: 151

I found a couple spelling and grammar mistakes, but I absolutely loved the story. The flashbacks or whatever they were didn't flow very well, but great job on a Marine bootcamp story.

Recent Flood Victim · Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:37 am Post subject:

If you weed through the bad grammar and so on and so forth lies a good story. Work on the way you write and you'll get better. I see much potential in this.

Your Neighborhood Friend,
RFV

Helljumper · Member Joined: 31 Jul 2004 Posts: 298 Location: Pittsburgh

it wasn't too bad, i was lost at certain points, but i got it.

ODST