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Riverside Party: Chapter 1

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:44 pm    Post subject: Riverside Party: Chapter 1 Reply with quote
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Riverside Party: Chapter 1
Posted by Dagorath (hoyinshan@gmail.com)
13 July 2005, 5:06 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Dagorath0713050506311.html
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Bronzemage
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Joined: 30 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 10:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Wow...

I really, really enjoyed that. You had a good sense of what you were writing, and everyting seemed real. No many GPS errors that I could see, and it was put together nicely.

Well done.
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MasterSushi
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Joined: 14 Sep 2004
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Location: Sitting in a chair. On my own. Eating cupcakes. And people tell me to get a life. Ha.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Yeah it was good, I liked the way you wrote with some kind of wimsical humour but the humour didn't shine through the story itself, I thought that was very very good well done.
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Dagorath
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Joined: 03 Apr 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 4:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thanks. Bet you never saw the ship part coming.
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Helljumper
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Joined: 31 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
it was more a summary than a story. it needed a plot

ODST
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Really? Maybe I was doing it too third-person, instead of a main character of some kind.
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