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After Fate:

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:38 pm    Post subject: After Fate: Reply with quote

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After Fate:
Posted by Nosolee (crugg2005@gmail.com)
7 July 2005, 9:56 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Nosolee0707052156421.html
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another transcript huh? Maybe I should do one too.

Anyway, it lacked detail, and there was plenty of headroom for that. Also, watch your spelling, and the way the Covenant talked their seemed relativley human. Watch out for those little details.

Otherwise, not bad for a transcript.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice to see you back Nos'. Definatly room for improvement. I see this as a prolouge I hope. Short, basically a rehashing of the opening scene of H2.

Hopefully, this strays from the now-cliche Arbiter story.
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'Nosolee
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It just starts as a transcript, it will soon evolve into something more. Don't worry, it won't be a cliche Arbiter story either.

Also, what spelling errors are there?
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 12:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good.
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 6:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll have to wait for your next chapter before I have any real comment. This was little more than a retelling of the trial of the eventual Arbiter in Halo 2. We'll see where you take this.

C.T. Clown
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since it was a transcript, I'll wait for the next chapter to come out. It was better than a lot of the other transcripts, though.
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Red Ghost
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 11:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just watch your direction of voice. In one part any reader that didn't know the scene would be confused when Delevi finished talking and Truth started. Just play around with different transition techniques.
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Pajari
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't been around for all the Arbiter cliche stories, so I don't look at this one the same way. The dialogue was convincing, and even though nothing got blown up it was still more engrossing than a lot of the kill-a-thon fanfic I see around here. This is a good start, hopefully it will grow into something truly special.

good luck Very Happy.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You don't know Nos' do you pajari? Wink
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Pajari
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thedarkfire wrote:
You don't know Nos' do you pajari? Wink


I guess not.
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'Nosolee
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah...It's so good to be back!
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