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Rescue Three
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hboff
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 12:11 pm    Post subject: Rescue Three Reply with quote

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Rescue Three
Posted by Mainevent
2 July 2005, 7:21 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Mainevent0702050721271.html
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Mark Lieberg
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sad...
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Author's Note: This story doesn't technically flow with the whole Halo storyline, but it does take place on Halo. And I have a longer version of this, but due to size restraints I had to cut it down to this. I was 37k posting this, and worried that the whole size thing might be a problem. If you want the longer version, just PM me.
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Helljumper
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

it was good, i'm gonna start with single story post, these series are killing me.

ODST
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL

I've found out that most people on here don't have the attention span for series. So I'm going with single stories for a while.
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Odin of SoS.
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i really liked it. but i noticed that in the beginning, popper was a sergeant and you later called him a specialist. eh. it happens. and i know this is the future and anything could happen. but the Marine Corps dosent have Specialist or Delta. i still thought it was great. i might try a single story or two.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol, did I do that?

damnit, i was scanning back through it and didn't catch that

i only remembered making andrews a corporal

and at this point the entire military has been condensed Smile

Delta Marines
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Odin of SoS.
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy theyd be some high speed body slayers if they were real. im going recon here soon. ive been doing route recon for my battalions high risk personnel protection platoon and our BC is sending the whole recon element to recon school right when we get back from iraq. im so excited.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like a blast...
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russ687
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damn fine job, Main.

Excellent descriptions, mixed with character and humor, made this very enjoyable. The ending before the horizontal lines was very strong, I liked everything up to that point, but the end afterwards seemed ackward, as if it didn't need to be there. It took off the tension and emotion from the prior ending of those Marines dying, but nonetheless it was still good.

-Russ
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Russ.

As for the ending, thought it may seem out of place, I did put it in there for a reason. It's sort of to shadow exactly what had happened to Popper and Andrews, and in turn, what happened to the men before them.

Andrews and Popper saved some survivors earlier, but their rescue caused their deaths. In turn, Andrews and Popper became survivors in need of rescue. Rescue Three, the team who comes along at the end, were the ones responsible for the sound of weapons fire that called the Covenant's attention to the two men, and eventually led to their death. Thus, the rescuers were again indirectly responsible for the deaths of those they were trying to rescue. Complicated, yes; but I tried to expand on it more in the longer version.

Not a lot longer, mind you, but longer. I didn't expect a lot of people to catch on to that, but I put it in there none the less to see if some would.
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HELSING
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I say go ahead and print your series, it thins out those who are really interested in your stories, and it allows you a level of depth that can't be acheived by single stories.

As for this one, Specialist isn't a rank in the Marine Corps, and also,
Quote:
Mike stumbled clumsily at the base and fell head-first into the sandy ground, splashing water onto his head gear and shorting the electronic eye-piece.


just a thought, but by that time, if they had electronic eye-pieces, surely they would have waterproof wiring, but possibly it was damaged. Just a thought. Great story though.
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say "sad..." would be very harsh. Very harsh indeed. Good job Mainevent.
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was real dark and depressing.

Excellent work. I love the imagery and detail. The quick, attention-getting opening caught me like a hook in the mouth.

See, work like this is what inspired me to write on HBO!

- Dave.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think he meant the story was sad when he said sad. Smile

At least I hope he meant that.
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