HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

This topic is for posting comments to:

Grunts of Lore: Chapter 1
Posted by Alex Bianca (snoopy1528@charter.net)
1 July 2005, 7:19 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Alex_Bianca0701051919271.html

(Dak)Arbiter · Member Joined: 05 Jul 2005 Posts: 1

I thought is was a very good story, especially since it can fit into the campaign so well. Also, the grunt names were really good and sounded awesome. The only thing you could work on is maybe using paragraphs but other than that it was great. Good job!

Syotica · Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 1:45 pm Post subject:

GPS Errors galore, text wall of doom, mediocre plotline.

2/10

~Insomnia

Jester · Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 5:03 pm Post subject:

Destroy the TEXT WALL OF DOOM Please please please go read the posts about the code. I'll even make this easy for you. Here's the link. http://hboff.bungie.org/viewtopic.php?t=527 Keep working on your stuff and pay attention to the comments you get.

Guardian · Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 5:27 pm Post subject:

Jester how the hell do you have more posts than I, and i've been here longer than you.

Its mind baffling.

Jester · Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 5:36 pm Post subject:

He he he.

On an on-topic note, just keep trying with your stories. They will improve if you work hard.

Zephyr · Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:49 am Post subject:

Code. Code. Code. Code. Text Wall Of Doom.
_________________
For what is a man profited, if he should gain the whole world, but lose his soul?

Syotica · Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 3:04 am Post subject:

Oh, and the Covenant do not refer to their superiors as 'sir'. They refer to them as 'Excellency', 'Lord', 'Grace', and other terms as such. Also, spell out your numbers.

SKyCapt · Member Joined: 01 Jul 2005 Posts: 3

Welll, the only errors are that Grunts don't carry more 2 weapons, in fact, in the game, they only carry about 2-4 Plasma 'nades and a) a Plasma Pistol, b) a needler, or something, else I forgot. Other than that, good story, keep it up. But please don't go and mix your story with Star Wars in other chapter... Neutral

It kinda ruins it.