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Heroes and Legends: Who Said They Were Tough?

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 4:25 pm    Post subject: Heroes and Legends: Who Said They Were Tough? Reply with quote

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Heroes and Legends: Who Said They Were Tough?
Posted by Odin of SoS. (kavika86@yahoo.com)
30 June 2005, 2:54 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Odin_of_SoS.0630050254451.html
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great to see some of your stuff again Odin, very good as usual.
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice work.
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Helljumper
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

real good. should've had the artillary open fire when the creeps were in a single line formation. but something is up i feel it the covenant have something planned.

ODST
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Jester
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The very end got a little repetitive, but that was all.

Good Work.
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dom1
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked this one. The lingo appealed to me. Cool
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where the hell were you all this time?

I liked it a lot. The suspense is killing me, hurry up!
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember the Knights!

From a long time ago...

In a galaxy somewhere near my house.

They were a fuggin' pain to kill in your stories. Atleast i think they were in your stories.

Did you change your name?
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Odin of SoS.
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well shadow. ive been in the Marine Corps training. i havent written in a LONG time. and yup. the Knights were mine. Very Happy good to see ya again.
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Things didn't seem to flow for me. Perhaps it was all the short sentenses, but the read just felt glitchy. I still got the story--it came across rather nicely. But there were just some places where things didn't move along as I thought they could. Well, it wasn't bad.

Wording could have been done differently in a couple places. Just slightly different diction or switching of order. For instance, in the beginning, instead of "Banshees menacingly flew above them." It could have been "Banshees flew manacingly above them." I just think the section way sounds better.

Don't see how four Hunters could survive so much. Marine fire, pluse six Warthogs with LAAG and Gauss Fire. I have a respect of them, but... just single GC round should be able to take out a Hunter if it hits right. And a good stream of LAAG fire would knock one clean over... well, that would depend on the range, too. I would have killed a couple, though.


Overall, this was a good read. I enjoyed the whole of the battle beginnings. Can wait for the next--just don't rush it or anything.
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