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A Unngoy Life: Chapter 2: Trouble at Home

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:04 pm    Post subject: A Unngoy Life: Chapter 2: Trouble at Home Reply with quote
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A Unngoy Life: Chapter 2: Trouble at Home
Posted by CrazyGrunt (thomas-hoskins@comcast.net)
24 June 2005, 8:32 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=CrazyGrunt0624052032191.html
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
You're learning.

Now for the rest of the code

[indent ] indent's stuff. Just the extra space is not supposed to be there.

[i ] = italics.

[u ] = underline

incorporate that and you're fic will be substantially good.
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Also somethings that needed fixing.

Quote:
The antigrav pods in the vechicles took about five human minutes to start up.


Try this instead:

The Anti-gravity pods started to cycle as power was fed to them. Slowly the purple color increased in intensity until finally a medium was reached within its plasma engine. The ghost raised of the ground once activated. Waiting for the five units of start-up seemed to be an eternity. The Unggoy leader was starting to feel anxious. The massive slabs of Halo that had impacted into Jambo had left massive destruction in its wake. He knew of the flood, but wasn't sure of whether it was the cause of the city's ruins and the silence that had circumvallated the the rubble.
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Yeah.
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