HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

A Unngoy Life: Chapter 2: Trouble at Home

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:04 pm    Post subject: A Unngoy Life: Chapter 2: Trouble at Home Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

A Unngoy Life: Chapter 2: Trouble at Home
Posted by CrazyGrunt (thomas-hoskins@comcast.net)
24 June 2005, 8:32 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=CrazyGrunt0624052032191.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Guardian
BANNED


Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 831
Location: Kicked to the curb.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're learning.

Now for the rest of the code

[indent ] indent's stuff. Just the extra space is not supposed to be there.

[i ] = italics.

[u ] = underline

incorporate that and you're fic will be substantially good.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Guardian
BANNED


Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 831
Location: Kicked to the curb.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also somethings that needed fixing.

Quote:
The antigrav pods in the vechicles took about five human minutes to start up.


Try this instead:

The Anti-gravity pods started to cycle as power was fed to them. Slowly the purple color increased in intensity until finally a medium was reached within its plasma engine. The ghost raised of the ground once activated. Waiting for the five units of start-up seemed to be an eternity. The Unggoy leader was starting to feel anxious. The massive slabs of Halo that had impacted into Jambo had left massive destruction in its wake. He knew of the flood, but wasn't sure of whether it was the cause of the city's ruins and the silence that had circumvallated the the rubble.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Zephyr
Member


Joined: 25 May 2005
Posts: 275
Location: im at ur moms house lol

PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah.
_________________
For what is a man profited, if he should gain the whole world, but lose his soul?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group