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A Unngoy Life: Chapter 1: The Attack
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:02 pm    Post subject: A Unngoy Life: Chapter 1: The Attack Reply with quote

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A Unngoy Life: Chapter 1: The Attack
Posted by CrazyGrunt (thomas-hoskins@comcast.net)
23 June 2005, 7:18 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=CrazyGrunt0623051918541.html
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice. Good use of Covenant names, good Grunt speak (Unn'goy) overall some great work.

Keep it up!

- JC
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good and all thta, but Code is missing, and ZAWAZ IS GODAMN DEAD!! I'm really tired of people using names of Covenant for their characters, when those Covenant names are the names of characters who are DEAD!

Sorry, but the only survivors of Halo are Johnson, MC, 343-GS, Cortana, (even though GS and Cortana aren't technically ;survivors' since they were never really alive at all) Polaski, Locklear, and Haverson.
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The7thAngel
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Calling a character from an inferior race Nugga. Real Subtle.
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 10:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polaski, Haverson and Locklear are also dead


Polaski was killed when a Plasma round impacted her dropship in Null Space. The expanded version of Slipspace created by the Crystal.

ODST - Locklear was killed when he took the Crystal set it on the floor and enveloped it in C-7 Explosive. Then detonated it, the destruction of the crystal caused a gravametric/radition spike and killed Locklear.

Luitenant Haverson, ONI Officer - Killed in Action at the Unyielding Hirophant. Aboard the Captured Flagship Acended Justice with a fake replica of the crystal found on Reach.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, I think it was the explosion that killed Locklear...the others were just side-effects. Wink
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Zephyr
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 1:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I said 'survivors', ! meant that those in question managed to directly escape Halo's destruction, not that they are still alive. Sorry if there was any misunderstanding regarding this.
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Spartan115
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked it. The point of view was different. Rather than telling the story through a characters point of view, you took the "outsider's" approach, where you can tell everything about everyone, everywhere. It was pretty good.

It was a little odd seeing the grunts being so familiar toward the elites and humans. Was that just to mix things up? It was a nice approach. Give the grunts a chance! Very Happy
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Umm...

Jackals can't wield swords, and Grunts cannot hold snipers. Never heard of Grunt Honor Guards either.

But very original.
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Caleb the Jackal
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well the story was interesting but it had some major crippling flaws. For one... I really doubt that there are any grunts looked upon with enough esteem to be placed in the rank you described. And a Jackal could not weild a sword well enough to be a threat to a profit. I don't know about the sniper rifle thing but it could work.

Practice the code and ask some friends what they think is realistic. That will help with the wrinkles.

Caleb
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Spartan058-HaloGeeky
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:03 am    Post subject: Keep it up! Reply with quote

It was very good. one thing i notice is that it was well, very statement-y, God mode kinda...It caught me off guard there for a while because i normally read stories through the characters...it was different to see something just be done with and not have what characters think about it...thant's not a bad thing but i just wasn't used to it that's all...

yeah i agree with the grunt thing. normally the weren't even aload to speak out of term let alone have a casual conversation with the elites...

Over all i think it was very inventive. keep it up! Laughing
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MasterSushi
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very good, nice style, a bit of subtle symbolism creeping it's way in as well.

lookin' forward to the next,
-Sush
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 3:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I doubt it Main, i mean C-7 Explosive is pretty bloody powerful. But if you read First strike, the Cavern with the Crystal in it, produced semi-solid holograms. It gave out radiation and neutrino spikes, when the Dropship entered the gravity lift. It nulliefied its properties, it expanded slipspace into Null Space. (Wado's story idea, borrowing it) Secondly, it warped time and anything else related to it.

Now taking all that into granted, the amount of energy required to do all taht would be immense. Also it would produce a hell of a radation outburst.

When Haverson went to investigate Locklear's death. He found radiation burns all over his body. "Made his death quick and painless." Plus i doubt C-7 Explosive has anything in it. That would produce radiation to that extent.

Get where i'm going with this?
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CrazyGrunt
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:17 pm    Post subject: Zawaz might not have been dead Reply with quote

I'm sorry, but Zawaz could have survived, because in Halo: First Strike, just because Cortana said there was only dust and echoes didn't mean Idea there wasn't a powered down Covie Dropship somewhere in the debris field where Halo had been.


"Can't...Run...With...Thing...On...Back!" Some random Grunt
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Csp499
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent story. I found myself attatched to it like the infection form on Zawaz.

Speaking of which, I don't think flood forms form that quickly. Even if they DID, I remember hearing that they become combat forms first, then eventually become carrier forms.

But, still, I have quallified this as the second best story on this site I have read. (The first is "Twisted Origins" by Pihku".)

I don't know why I decided to post this on the first chapter, by the way.
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