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The Best of the Best Part 2 of 3

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 2:37 pm    Post subject: The Best of the Best Part 2 of 3 Reply with quote

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The Best of the Best Part 2 of 3
Posted by CoLd BlooDed (broken_lizard12@hotmail.com)
31 August 2004, 5:11 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=cold_blooded.0831040511452.html
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. That was...I can't really explain that one.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 11:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Then my goal is complete. Smile

This was just the best way to introduce what's going to happen in Part 3 - which, undoubtedly, won't end up like this chapter.

Scottie will be normal in the next chapter, obviously confused to where he is.
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 1:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel special that you actually kept my idea. Very Happy

Anyway, I think it was funnier than the first...pure insantity!
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hunter_that_dances
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 1:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I laghed myself into a coma

okay, it wasnt like that, but this was funny, especiay with the Grunt yelling "STOP PEEING ON ME!!!!!!!"
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SYSTEM
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie

PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haw haw haw!

Macdonalds in space!

That's hilarious!

(though, I think people could get sick from all the fat, oil and salt!)
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"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks you guys.

Hmm... I come back after a while and this is all the comments I get?

That sucks.
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russ687
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One day, when the rain poured down from the heavens outside and the wind blew it roughly against my windows, I decided to set out on a quest. An endeavor that I had never attempted before, in an effort to find the true essence of writing; to find the true crux of this lifestyle that we authors abide by. At the beginning of my search, my expectations were high, though shortly into it I began losing momentum. How could I find the best story out there to complete my search for the essentia of writing?

Simple. I typed in "The best story ever" and hit 'Search.' Much to my displeasure, however, nothing came back (well, one story did, heh). So, then I decided to just put in, 'The best of the best'; obviously that would do, wouldn't it? I mean, if it's the best of the best, it has to be the best story out there, ergo I would have found the right story in order to learn the fundementals of writing.

And alas, I did find a story. One that was matched by no other. It was called, "The Best of the Best" by some random author I had never heard of. Hmmm, Cold Blooded, eh? I thought, opening the page on HBO. Is this some sort of serial killer? Or perhaps a dimented kid who hides in his basement, polishing his Remington 700 rifle every hour, tediously going over plans to knock off every fool he had bumped into? I could honestly say I was worried, since I've come across my fair share of 'troubled children,' and I know for a fact that the ones with rifles need to be taken seriously; or at least taken into custody. Though to the bottom line, should I be worried? Should I be scared?

Warily I stared at the story, getting mentally prepared for some sick, twisted tale with blood and guts, and began putting up conscious walls in my head to keep the utter violence from this disturbed kid from affecting my persona. Then, in a sick twist of fate, the story didn't start with a slit throat and a pile of bodies. Oh no, it started with a rough descriptive paragraph, and then,
Quote:
Alpha Squad, however, was considered the best of the best in the UNSK; they had been trained to perfection—well, almost—and were the toughest in the Corps. This, however, wasn't saying much.


Then I thought, perhaps this kid is just taunting me. To my surprise, it only got more humorous...
Quote:
They all moved down the narrow hallway, the lights flickering mournfully overhead. A dull klaxon echoed in the background, something that usually happened every day, every hour, every minute—it was faulty, and the personnel in the UNSK couldn't do jack shit to stop it, although they were the best of the best...


After a moment to regain my composure, and wipe the spilled water off my shirt, I looked once more at the name. Wait a second, I thought in slow contemplation. Cold Blooded? I've seen that name before... yes, I know him. And like a wall of cold water, I remembered just who this author was. He was the kid who called me a "jackass" in the video store yesterday! The bastard! The son of a bitch is going to pay... but on top of that, before I could pin the lanky little man on make him respect his elders, he smirked and squealed, and then kicked me in the nads and ran off before I could do anything, screaming something about "Canada." Unbelievable!

So this comment is in retribution. I will get you back, Cold Blooded, mark my words. In the meantime, I shall lurk on this old thread, leaving comments. When you return, I hope you've enjoyed life up until that point. Twisted Evil



You wrote:
M
i'm lovin' it


I hate McDonalds.

Laughing

You wrote:
Downsman opened his eye and looked at the sleeping Grunt he was standing over, glistening brightly in the orange light. Its armor casting strange shapes upon the aliens face and body, which heaved up and down in relaxed breaths—it awoke suddenly and looked with fear at the Private. He backed away as it shouted at him.

"STOP PEEING ON ME!"

The Grunt ran away from him, waddling with its overgrown legs and fancy methane tank. Downsman sighed, pulled up his pants, and frowned.


I see resemblences here between you and Severian. Are you sure you don't get high together and write these comedies? Wink

You wrote:
"Yeah, right!" scoffed a Grunt, conversing with a veteran Elite who looked anything but happy. "I'll believe you when a human barges into this very compound intoxicated... and singing, and without a weapon—and when that happens, I'll cut off my paws and paste them on my forehead to make it look like I have very big—and pointy sharp—ears."

"I tell the tru—" the veteran began, but was cut off at the sound coming from nearest corridor.

"Sinnnnngggiiinnnggg iinnn the rainnn..."

The metal access door that separated the room from the hallways opened suddenly, and there stood a swaying enemy soldier—without a weapon, and singing. Ivanna, who had overheard the outrageous conversation between the Grunt and Elite, looked back, and saw that the lesser ranking Covenant soldier had already glued his own hands to his head, sulking.


How very ironic. Poor guy, what bad luck! Shocked


Okay, Cold Blooded. This is what you're going to do. Listen closely.



... I'm serious, pay attention.


Okay, put down that pipe, we already talk about this (MCC or Severian, help me out with the kid!)

I want you to finish this series and post it here on HBO. I want to laugh, and by the end of it be in tears. If you fail me on this, we shall never speak again. Don't let me down, Cold! Smile

-Russ
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would love to help, but I have no freaking idea as to just how to write a comedy. Anything I do is just my 'voice' unrestrained and unleashed. That is, I let my rather obscene mind prance around the pages, dotting multiple exclamation marks after jokes about shit, alliteration, and four-armed men farting radioactive gas.

Actually, the only thing I can tell you is that since you have wit just let yourself write and write and write without striving to be hilarious. Just write something outrageously over-the-top and out of proportions (not to mention reality) and insert anything your mind dreams up in the margins and I think you'll be succesful.

Now, as I have strayed from the path of life I shall walk on ever onward again until you post the next chapter...
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SYSTEM
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Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 12:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, the Macdonalds in space was actually pretty funny.

We've got to work on IOTN! Yep, when it comes to comedies, the little hamster running on his wheel in the dusty emptiness that serves me as a brain dies. New definition to brain-dead.

But whatever, the only word to describe this wouldn't be funny, it'd be downright hilarious.

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh God, I laughed so hard at this,
Quote:
Ivanna 'Bettername
, Christ CoLd, you should do more of this.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say it's about time to finish this off, eh? I think I lost all my motivation when I lost the original file two harddrives ago... and when I barely got any comments at first. Wink But it's all good now.

And I have an ending that will catch by surprise, for sure. Don't think I can pull off a twist in a comedy? I'll show you!

And Russ, I hope you catch that little b-stard.
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