HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Survival Instincts, Chapter 1/2
Posted by GLADIATRRR3000 (gladiatrrr2002@hotmail.com)
31 August 2004, 4:57 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=gladiatrrr30.0831040457071.html

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Interesting way to start a fic. With teens and what not. Could have used indentations and a bit more detail though. I like how you came up with future gadgets, things that would most certainly be around in five hundred years. Some people don't bother, and use regular technolgy.
Anyway, already read chap one.
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-MCC

Nick Kang · Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 1:46 am Post subject:

Now, when I have to make breakfast, I have to actually mix the pancake batter, make the pancakes, pour the juice/milk, make the eggs, and grill the sausage patties...and here's this guy fretting because he has to walk up to his oven and say 'Gimme a Big Mac.' Us Humans must get really lazy in the next 550 years... Laughing

Anyway, awesome story. If memory serves, this is the first story of your that I have read...but I'll read more of 'em, surely. I think it's pretty cool that everything is automated and stuff. And it was short. That was the shortest I have read in a long time, and it was refreshing, but ou might want to make the next chapter a bit longer.
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Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

Amaranthine · Member Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 55

the origional chapter was over the 32k limit, so i had to bisect it. that's why this chapter is short.