HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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holy attack pt. 1 Zurree
Posted by Agnischief@ (mjblatter@verision.net)
12 June 2005, 8:33 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=agnischief@.0612052033581.html

Guardian · Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 8:06 pm Post subject:

Text Wall, i'm not dealing with this shit anymore. I'm getting tired of people not bieng able to follow simple directions in Big Blue Letters that lead to a link on Directions of Use.

I would simply say your story sucks, but it doesn't. The only reason i'm going in that direction is because of one F*cking paragraph, that's supposed to be more than one.

maybe you'll get better comments from others.

Michael Archer · Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 8:10 pm Post subject: story

capitalisation errors, speling errors, and [b]CODE[/b.

If you didn't see anything wrong with the above sentence, you really need to work on writing.

"Covenant", Capital "A".

"Hierarchs". Go to dictionary.com, and you can work on spelling.

Read through the whole story for the last mistake.

Oops, I almost forgot. TEXT WALL OF DOOM Remember to seperate paragraphs.

Good luck on your next one.

JCDentonCZ · Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 8:34 pm Post subject:

Zephyr · Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 9:32 pm Post subject:

The effing text wall of doom. Seperate your paragraphs, and why the hell were there only two?? Code. Code Code Code Code. Code Code Code. You need the effing Code.
_________________
For what is a man profited, if he should gain the whole world, but lose his soul?

dom1 · Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 5:24 am Post subject:

Why (myself included) do most new people write such f*cking short ass stories with no code. I did that, and I regret it. But I read the Code, use, thing. I'm just lazy. Wink

But still, I, and many others, wish (more like scream and curse) for the new people to try to get as many things done right as possible. JUST F*CKING TRY< AT LEAST!!!!

C'mon n00bs, try.

*sigh* I need to take more vitamins. Rolling Eyes

SYSTEM · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:13 pm Post subject:

Come on, what kind of opening was this?

Nick Kang · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 6:52 pm Post subject:

It had a lot of potential, I'll tell you that.

Whenever someone new speaks, always be sure to start a new paragraph. This goes along with capitalizing the first letter of speech, as if it were a regular sentence. Also, the Code would be pretty cool, instead of the Text Wall Of Doom (TWOD). Numerous GPS (Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling) errors also bogged it down a bit. Be sure to run your story through a spellchecker before you submit it. Another tip I would give you is to proofread it several times, making corrections whenever you spot a place that needs them.

Good luck with your next piece! Very Happy

_________________
Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

Wiley K. · Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:55 pm Post subject:

Listen to Dave. He's given you all the advice you need.

Although I don't see the problem with location tags; they can add a more militaristic feel. They work so long as youd escribe the setting in your story right.

JCDentonCZ · Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:22 pm Post subject:

Check out the Writing Styles Guide for a whole load of help for your series. I am not going to read it for now, I am not going to rate it, As I read from the others, I think I'll skip this one because I've also seen the others got this down.

However, I truely hope your next work will be a lot better. You cannot make a story in fifteen minutes! It takes time, brainstorming, and a whole lot of halo - playing as far as I see it. Then begin with writing. When you are "done", you let it be for four days or so. Then, reread it, and begin to make it better; Sentences, words, phrases, etc.

Then, let it be for another few days. Make it the very best you think you could ever do, after looking to great series here like Ghosts of Erebus (just search it in the Fanfiction Search... Wink

) and then let it be proofreaded by the regulars here, Like Dave Luck, MCC, Azrael, Chuckles, etc. Then, rework it with the help you get, And brainstorm again.

When you got things finally settled, Do another proofread yourself, Let it be proofreaded here, And when you finished that, enhance your story on it, and then let it be proofreaded by your parents (You'll be so proud you'd give a copy to everyone) and by friends. When done, I suggest one last clean sweep and when you are REALLY and ultimately sure, Then, ONLY THEN, submit it.

Good luck.

- JC
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A million ideas..

Jester · Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 11:27 pm Post subject:

I'm with JC on this. I've been gone for two weeks, and there is no way I'm going back to read every story I missed.

OrdinaryKronos · Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 1:54 am Post subject:

Thank you...I know, it is Sh1t, and thats why I ceased creating/continuing it. I made a newer, and in my oppinion 'better' fiction.
Thank you,
~OrdinaryKronos. Wink