HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

Spirits in the Mist (Part 1): Silence of the Air
Posted by MadJackal
28 May 2005, 1:18 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=madjackal.0528050118521.html

[Odin of SoS.]

i liked it a lot. it was well written. the story was somewhat captivating and im looking forward to the next installment

[Nick Kang]

Ah, perhaps a tie-in with Iron Hands? Hopefully it will be just as good. I look forward to the next installment.
_________________
Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

[MC's Cousin]

Good to see you around MadJackal.

The plot started to suck me in at the very beginning. Very nicely done. A string of questions sprung into my mind concerning these Mist Spirits. All sorts of stuff you could do with a group like that. I will be waiting to see what. Their armor was one item that swam in my thoughts for a bit. It intrigued me to ponder upon.

Now, there was one main thing that I noticed slightly flawed this piece. It seemed in a few places repedetiveness plagued the text. Repeates of terms and names proved to be a slight hindrance to the flow of the story. Small, it was, but present nonetheless. So watch out for that.


Overall, this was wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Just the right mix of elements for my eyes, it would seem. I will be eagerly awaiting your next installment. Keep it up.
_________________
-MCC

[OpeningAct]

Man, did I ever enjoy this! Superb, easily one of the best Covenant POV stories I've ever read on this site, and truly original. It was that good. Hurry up with the next installment!

-OA

[SYSTEM]

Aww, geez, man, The title just grabbed my attention like a hook in the mouth!

Finally, someone writes without excessive use of "Was" and "Said!" I'm happy!

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.

[MadJackal]

I'm glad to be back, MCC. And I went back through it and caught some of what you were talking about. I'll watch out for that. A year and a half with no writing must have made me rusty for me to slip into repetitive terms in an important paragraph, lol.

Anyways, I'm glad you guys like it so far. I came up with the idea for this series a long time ago, right after I wrote the Iron Hands series that did so well. It's been sitting on the drawing board for more than a year, but I just didn't have the opportunity to do any writing (this year has been, without a doubt, the most trying time of my life, simultaneously the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me, lol). Now that things are settling down, I decided to continue where I left off on HBO. I wanted this one to be bigger and on a grander scale than the Iron Hands, and so it will be. Expect it to start small but expand to include Halo 2's storyline a little and to involve Truth and his plotting, Tartarus and his blind lust for power, etc.

[JCDentonCZ]

Very good, Very captivating. Great job. There is nothing what I could furthermore give comments on, nothing to change about it. I feel you're not new to HBOFF. For that, I'll say:

Welcome Back to HBO - FF

- JC
_________________
A million ideas..

[The Huntress]

That was fricken awesome! I loved it, and I can't wait to read the next one. I have always loved fan fictions that involve stealth. Keep up the good work!

[Guardian]

[MadJackal]

Yeah, I think my first story that I posted here was July 16, 2003. I was reading here a little bit before that.

[thedarkfire]

Someone give this man and Oldschooler tag!

Jackel, that was wonderful. I have been itching for more since I came upon your Iron Hands series ages back. I cannot wait until the next installment.