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Fire Team Tango-chapter II
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hboff
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:04 pm    Post subject: Fire Team Tango-chapter II Reply with quote

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Fire Team Tango-chapter II
Posted by Zen-Army
21 May 2005, 4:34 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=zen-army.0521051634122.html
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mc's cousin clarified the repedativeness of names in my story. unfourtunately i had posted it before reading the recent comments. I'll try to fix that in the next chapter.
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The man was Staff Sergeant Kaplan, one of Whiskey outpost's quarter masters.


Now who's using Deus Ex as inspiration? Wink No problems, heh.

Anyways, I thought you submitted it too early. You don't have to be at the submitted list every time, Just take it easier, but work as hard as you do now.

Quote:
"The Covenant are jamming the communications with local hardware


Kaplan and Hardware, right? Heh. Gotta love the coincidences.

Quote:
eight gauge buckshot shells.


Correct me on this, But I'm not sure if they do use Buckshots anymore, I think more like the Flak, But I guess I just have to check the manual on that. No big deal.

Quote:
Fire team Fox-trot


Not sure, But I think that should be Foxtrot as it is. I could be wrong, of course.

I do wonder how you improved on detail all the sudden. Great work on that.

Quote:
As Lee peered down his scope at fire team Fox-trot, he saw two of its Marines get ripped apart by a nearby explosion of plasma. The three remaining members of the fire team panicked and ran as a Wraith advanced from the rail yard adjacent to the refinery. It fired a second shot, killing two more Marines. As eight Grunts rushed passed the Wraith towards the supply cache, it directed its attention to what remained of fire team Oscar.


Ow. That would've been a excellent moment to change the POV to Lee himself, with feelings and thoughts. A death is not just a death, Like a game character's death, Like a Grunt in Halo, It's about the ending of a chapter of someone, the preliminary end of someone's life, Full of experience, memories and situations. Remember that.

Quote:
As the grenade exploded, forcing the door to fly open, the Jackal sniper fired. Lee rolled out of the window and spotted the sniper. He fired, hitting it in the waist and tearing a large hole in its soft flesh. The Jackal staggered backwards, and was hit in the head by a second hollow point round, which ended its life.


Hope I am not to critical in things, but I think a little more detail here.



Anyways, I hope I help you with this, Took my time for it. Keep up the good work, You're getting there.

- JC
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

unfortuenatly i realized too late that i should have spent more time proof reading and fixing things. I tend to rush that last part even though i shouldn't.

I know the shotgun uses 8 guage magnum rounds. I figured it was filled with buckshot. maybe its high tech buck shot. that would be quite the technological feat. humans are still using prodjectile weapons in 2552. they have ways to magnetically accelerate em, but when push comes to shuv, the weapons are pretty un advanced for 557 years from now, especially considering the hudge advances we've made in the past 50 years. considering this, why not use buckshot? its irrelivant though.

my spell check belives that it is Fox-trot and wont shut up about it. I wasn't sure, so i decided to appease it with fox-trot.

as for the death of the opther Marines, i guess i should have made the main characters a lot more human. after seeing someone get blown apart or cut down by a machinegun, you're not gonna go on like nothing happened, unless you're a heartless cyborg or a die hard proffesional.

more details in the sniper thing eh? now that i look at it, it seems kind of rushed. Personally I belive the whole use a nade to distract the sniper while you sneak around and kill him was pretty clever. I wish i could have done that back in olde mombasa or the "hey lets all snipe the chief with our fancy one hit kill snipers" place as i call it.

I appreciate the feedback.
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"hey lets all snipe the chief with our fancy one hit kill snipers"

Hahahaha! Very Happy That sounds great, Then say it like the guy on halo with the Housecalls in Silent Cartographer (Sargeant Stacker? Not sure) And it's great, IMO. Wink
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you know, aparently sgt stacker is like johnson. He can die 20 times on that god forsaken ring and come back to halo 2, where he dies another 20 times. I'm starting to belive that the UNSC has a bunch of spare johnson and stacker clones lying about.
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zen-Army wrote:
you know, aparently sgt stacker is like johnson. He can die 20 times on that god forsaken ring and come back to halo 2, where he dies another 20 times. I'm starting to belive that the UNSC has a bunch of spare johnson and stacker clones lying about.


Hahaha. I believe so, Just play level 2, "Halo" and I managed to get two Sgt Johnsons in my Warthog, Driving to the third, hehehe.

Oh by the way, Try the same quote with the voice of Doctor Evil:

"hey lets all snipe the chief with our fancy one hit kill snipers"

Razz Also great, IMO.

Anyways, Waiting for the rest to come and tell what they think about it, Z.

- JC
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow, two johnsons in one hog. if only they were like the one from halo 2. In that same level, i managed to make all but one dropship leave the marines behind. Its very helpfull to have fresh gunners in ledgendary.

oh, by the way, do you by any chance know what the thing on a weapon where the magazine or clip is loaded into? And when you load a fresh clip in and pull that clicking thing, is it called caucking? I belive it is, but my spell check hates me and says theres no such thing. anyway, if any ones know the answere to either i'd appreciate it.
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zen-Army wrote:
wow, two johnsons in one hog. if only they were like the one from halo 2. In that same level, i managed to make all but one dropship leave the marines behind. Its very helpfull to have fresh gunners in ledgendary.

oh, by the way, do you by any chance know what the thing on a weapon where the magazine or clip is loaded into? And when you load a fresh clip in and pull that clicking thing, is it called caucking? I belive it is, but my spell check hates me and says theres no such thing. anyway, if any ones know the answere to either i'd appreciate it.


You're asking a Dutchmen. That's like asking a foreigner the road to your house. And if he might have seen your Keyes, (egg!) If you know what I mean.

Heh, a Spell Checker who's hating you. Haven't seen that yet. Anyways, I don't use a Spell Checker. Heh, Threw off Word because it took room in my old P II. Confused

Anyways, It's nice...

About the Magazine? I think that should be the case, and the clicking, I think. It should use, as the "old" weapons, a typical metal feather behind it, clicking when pushed somewhere, activating or releasing the metal feather.

Quote:
"With a click, the empty BR55 clip dropped into the green grass in the boggy highlands. A breeze came over, picked up by his suit. Surrounded by dead bodies of Jackals and a empty hovering throne, that previously housed a Prophet, was dripped with it's blood. (What the hell would their blood color like?)
fools... he thought, as he slowly picked up a new clip to set in his Battle Rifle, clicking into the empty case of the weapon, pointing it high. The birds were silent, and did not dare to speak. He clicked the "safe" on, and picked his weapon with both hands up, the left arm on the barrel holder, is right, bowed, with the butt of the weapon at his shoulder. He peered into the scope, slowly, scavenging for enemies to neutralise. in the seemingly endless green fields in Scotland.


That's a bit as you should put it. In the heat of battle, however, is a different way of doing, but the basics are there. More help can be given by the others.

- JC
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 9:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

prophets have dark red blood. i memorized the color after that bastard regret refused to die. he can sure take one hell of a beating. why would a prophet go to scotland?

correct me if i'm wrong, but the place the magazine goes into is the case, right. sounds correct now that i remember the pea shooter is caseless. It would have looked coorler if the magazine was loaded into the top rather than the side.

i'm geussing the metal feather thingy ejects the spent shell casing. I'd like correct spelling on the action of pulling the thingy to make it go click. crudely delivered, yes, but at least it got the request accross.
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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

this dosen't need to be answered. i'm just curious. how many ships (frigats and troop ships) do you think it would take to mop up significant covenant forces, impose martial law on all the towns and cities within several counties (lets say about two or so times the size of rhode island) and have enough for large scale operations? an answere dosne't matter, but im curious.
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zen-Army wrote:
this dosen't need to be answered. i'm just curious. how many ships (frigats and troop ships) do you think it would take to mop up significant covenant forces, impose martial law on all the towns and cities within several counties (lets say about two or so times the size of rhode island) and have enough for large scale operations? an answere dosne't matter, but im curious.


Significant Covenant forces? Not sure what you exacly mean with it. If you mean the Battlegroup from the Prophet of Regret, than I think you'll need:

- Around 12 Battleships
- Six additional Cruisers
- Troop Ships, Like the Truth and Reconciliation? That's a Covenant CCS Class Troop Cruiser, as I see it. I think, you'll need around six Troop Ships (Like Cruisers: 2.1 Km through 5.5 Km, In my standards), And around...22.500 men for taking on Rhodes 2x's. If you could any incoming forces, I think you might need 30.000 at max. That's, If I am right, a full Brigade. I could be wrong.

Anyways, I hope this helps.

- JC
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

troop ships as in UNSC ships designed to transport troops to various theatres of combat. I always figured ships like carriers and cruisers would be more like bases of operation for ground troops rather than transports. same goes for frigats. naturally they would serve their naval purpose more often.

30,000 troops sounds about right. a force that big could easily deal with a small but substansial covenant prescence if the infantry was complemented by air support and armor. plus anyone plotting to rebel against the harsh marshal law would think twice about doing it, especially when ONI's calling the shots, but they wouldn't know about ONI's operations, so it would just be the troops.

i'm not sure, but i think a relife force would consist of mainly frigats for defence. maybe a few captial ships, but most of them would be rerouted elsewhere.
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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

if anybody's reading this, i'd still like to get correct spelling on the action of pulling the thing on the rifle to make it go click after you load a fresh magazine in. I can't use a dictionary, becuase i hold them in complete contempt for them.
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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 4:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait. Why do you hate dictionaries? They are your friend.
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