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A Day Like Sunday

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:04 pm    Post subject: A Day Like Sunday Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

A Day Like Sunday
Posted by Mainevent
21 May 2005, 2:34 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mainevent.0521050234418.html
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice one. Great flow, for the most part. Repeating the first line really worked for this poem, and it didn't hurt that you made it sing. Dark, edgy and not a bit cheesy--what else can I say?

C.T. Clown
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice, nice. I also have no idea whatsoever that you did this in five minutes at ten o'clock at night.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hehe.

Awesome. Pure perfection on this piece of poetry, pal.

Like that... wait, what's it called? Alliteration?
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked it!
At first I was skeptical on whether or not you actually tried on this one, but now I know you did. Very Happy
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Odin of SoS.
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Joined: 27 Nov 2004
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 10:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i thought it was outstanding
always loved ur poems
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

for starters, you're an amazing writer. HBO - FF's glad to have you. Same as Russ and the others.

Second, the poem was amazing and it sounds just as good reading it from bottom to top. As otherwise top to bottom.

Again, very nice poem Main.

Verynice.

Though i have to say, I liked you're story - Premonitions the best out of all the rest.

~Shadow
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Michael Archer
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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 12:37 pm    Post subject: story Reply with quote

Good poem, I liked your use in words.

Great flow, everything perfect.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 5:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your comments guys. I just wanted to see if I could still do poetry worth a crap. Very Happy
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It seems that you can still do opetry worth a crap. Wink

Good job. I saw a missing word that could have improved the flow for me.

Quote:
A blood-soaked beach the place I fell.


I found

Quote:
A blood-soaked beach the place that I fell


to be better flow for me.

Great poetry.
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dom1
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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 3:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmmmmm, this one really piqued my interest. What with one of my brothers joining the Rangers 'n all. Fitting, in an eloquent way.
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2005 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite nice there, Main. Had a distinct feel to it. A couple places that I found slightly questionable, but they did not hurt the quality, and I do not feel the need to mention them--unless you really want me to, of course.

You seem to be pretty good at poetry. And, unlike some others, this one had a distinct theme and feeling to it that you conveyed pretty well. Good job. Keep up the good work.
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