HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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War Comes To Earth: Chapter 2- Through The City
Posted by Firestorm
17 May 2005, 3:10 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=firestorm.0517050310543.html

Helljumper · Member Joined: 31 Jul 2004 Posts: 298 Location: Pittsburgh

Surprised no one commented on this, its pretty good. lots of emotion, but seemed kinda rushed. You have to go into more detail about your main characters pass, make them a real person. Like the cop, i didn't know he was a cop until the end of the story. you need to work that out. Thats were describing your characters comes in. tell us wat he is wearing things like that to make him more real. but pretty good.

ODST

MasterSushi · Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 7:48 am Post subject:

Heh yeah I really enjoyed this. Could have been longer, that's often a weak point in stories, but I don't care because I thought this was good.

Character description like what Helljumper said, and hmmm. Not really much I can think of.

-Congrats,
-MasterSushi