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Panic to Guide You

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 10:55 am    Post subject: Panic to Guide You Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Panic to Guide You
Posted by dom1 (moberly6@pacbell.net)
16 May 2005, 3:06 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=dom1.0516050306231.html
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LordsFire
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Joined: 28 Dec 2004
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Location: Da U.P.

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it. No high falutin' words, simple, intense, and very real seeming.

A picture of emotional reality. I like it.
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Michael Archer
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Joined: 19 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 9:04 pm    Post subject: story Reply with quote

Ok, I hope it means something that I can't figure out.

Great poem, I like your use of words.
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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Joined: 11 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2005 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great, much better than other stuff of yours I've read. Keep it up.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2005 1:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your flow and word choicage were pretty damn good.

You worked the italics to good extent. Good job.
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Landlord
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Joined: 14 May 2005
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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2005 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i liked ur choice of words and how you used them in your piece. very good. keep it up
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2005 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That poem pulls down my pants and mocks me.
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Recent Flood Victim
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Location: A place where Rednecks run wild, and liberals are prey

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2005 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great poem.

And to Zen-Army...please dont say stuff like that. Its REALLY imature.
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Zen-Army
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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2005 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry if it sounded immature. Its an old saturday night live line that i've been wanting to use. I meant no offense. I though it was good, even though i'm not a fan of poetry.
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Recent Flood Victim
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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2005 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No prob Zen, it was just a forward note for future use. I see your new and people around here FLAME n00bs. So just some advice. And if you need help with anything else give me a buzz.

Your neighborhood friend,
RFV
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MC's Cousin
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2005 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Remember RFV, not all new people here are n00bs. They are, as a default, newbs, but no one has to be an "N-double-zero-B." You have to work towards that status.


The poem was alright. Seemed really jerky, and it didn't have all that much material in there to focus on. Three seconds after starting it was over. So the pace seemed way too fast. Still, it was alright.
_________________
-MCC
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2005 2:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zen-Army wrote:
That poem pulls down my pants and mocks me.


Recent Flood Victim wrote:
Great poem.

And to Zen-Army...please dont say stuff like that. Its REALLY imature.


Yet, RFV's Signature wrote:
FART...lol


Ironic. Wink

I agree with MCC, it wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all. Just watch the flow-- it's the single most important thing in poetry. Well, at least I think so.
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Recent Flood Victim
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Joined: 11 Dec 2004
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Location: A place where Rednecks run wild, and liberals are prey

PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2005 2:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh come on....I was just picking with the guy. Don't bring my Light Hearted signature into this. lol. But any way sorry for calling you a Newb, or rather a n00b. It was not in my place and I did not know you. So once again I am sorry.


Your neighborhood friend,
RFV
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dom1
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Location: Merrily chasing my pet grunty Cuckoo in 100+ post land!! I made it!

PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2005 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This poem was meant to be short. Well, not short, but concise.
I'm very glad you liked it Very Happy.
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