HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Might of the Republic - Chapter Two

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 5:55 pm    Post subject: Might of the Republic - Chapter Two Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Might of the Republic - Chapter Two
Posted by Echo630
24 August 2004, 3:35 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=echo630.0824041535472.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Chuckles
Member


Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 1000
Location: Grand Rapids MI

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 7:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice job, Echo. Very imaginitive and well written.

I liked everything but the ending. Since this is only chapter two, and you want people to read chapter three, you need to have an ending that leaves them needing to come back and read the next chapter. Leave something dangling that you need to wrap up for them next time, or there might not be a next time.

C.T. Clown
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 10:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree that you your ending could have used some sort of twist or something to make it feel like something more is coming. This almost gave it the feeling that the war was going to end because of this "Nightmare".
Anyway. Good use of code, and well written. I'd have to say also that the only real thing that I thought could have been better was the ending (plus the addition of a few details here and there).

Overall, it was nice, very nice. Keep up the good work.
_________________
-MCC
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Echo630
Member


Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanx. the ending isnt as good as it was because when i went to copy the story for backup, i accidently hit cut in stead or copy, meaning i had to do it over again. I may have forgotten a few things though.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Helljumper
Member


Joined: 31 Jul 2004
Posts: 298
Location: Pittsburgh

PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i guess its just too different for me

ODST
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group