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Seven Days: Part Two of Seven

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 3:18 pm    Post subject: Seven Days: Part Two of Seven Reply with quote

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Seven Days: Part Two of Seven
Posted by SeverianofUrth (severn117@hotmail.com)
11 March 2005, 3:14 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=severianofur.0311051514042.html
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System Failure
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Joined: 05 Aug 2004
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Location: Queens, NY

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:53 pm    Post subject: Beefy Beefareeno!! Reply with quote

Godd shit m friend. Your stories are quite good. Speak of stories, what happed to our litte seires? It is your turn. Twisted Evil
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
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Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 12:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh ho... damn. Forgot about that. You don't mind waiting a little, do you? Let me finish this series up, then finish Invasion of NOOBS, then I'll get back to it. Sorry, man. And thanks for the comments. And my AOL account got cancelled, so I don't even have internet access at home- let along IM. Typing this out on a library Cool

And again, thanks so much in advance for the comments- thank you.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 1:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No complaints. Just pure greatness.
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CoLd BlooDed
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
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Location: Noit acol.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loved it. Very evil.

Oh, and don't mistake my words. I mean pure fucking evil. Twisted Evil

Great stuff.
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russ687
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Joined: 06 Aug 2004
Posts: 720
Location: Daytona Beach, FL

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nicely done.

Some mistakes here and there -- I know you can improve on that a bit. Plot is good and I'm enoying the feel of the story. Good job.

-Russ
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Azrael
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Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 504
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm really liking your dialouge.

Hahaha, killing the O'Connor brothers, eh? Let me tell you; Connors, no matter the vowel preceeding, are hard mothers to take down. Smile

Oh, you'll get yours, Sev. You'll get yours... Twisted Evil

This was an excellent addition. Keep these coming, you've done yourself proud with this series thus far.
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...now that's some gritty shizzle.
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MC's Cousin
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 1:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just as a small tip: When you abbreviate stuff, you don't have to use periods after it (ie- U.S.A.). It just looks smoother when you just have capped letters (ie- USA or MAC).

Saw some small mistakes here and there. So keep a big eye out for that kind of thing. I can understand using a library comp, but do proofread carefully with what time you have.


Overall, this was a good continuation. I can't say I didn't notice the small flow or detail issue, but it was pretty good. Keep up the good work.
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
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Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, everyone.

Oh, and yes I'll start watching for the small errors- I apologize for that.

Quote:
Hahaha, killing the O'Connor brothers, eh? Let me tell you; Connors, no matter the vowel preceeding, are hard mothers to take down. Smile

Oh, you'll get yours, Sev. You'll get yours... Twisted Evil


Oh damn... I knew that would catch up to me....
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Caleb the Jackal
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Joined: 11 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 1:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow I really liked this installation. I just wish these were longer that is my only complaint. And it really isn't a complaint, just an idea. I can understand typin in on a lybrary comp.

Well keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next chapter.



Caleb
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Chuckles
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
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Location: Grand Rapids MI

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will read this soon. I was on a trip last weekend and accidentally fell asleep last night or I would have done it already. I have to read Azrael's epilogue as well. Man, gone four days and I'm horribly behind Very Happy

C.T. Clown
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another good one, although I don't know if I can approve of something so dark Wink
You have a nice story going here and I can't think of anything to gripe about. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

C.T. Clown
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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Joined: 11 Oct 2004
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Location: In the tower above the earth

PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Caleb the Jackal wrote:
Wow I really liked this installation.
I think you mean instalment. I liked it, nothing more to add, keep it up Sev.
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