HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Seven Days: Part Two of Seven
Posted by SeverianofUrth (severn117@hotmail.com)
11 March 2005, 3:14 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=severianofur.0311051514042.html

System Failure · Member Joined: 05 Aug 2004 Posts: 29 Location: Queens, NY

Godd shit m friend. Your stories are quite good. Speak of stories, what happed to our litte seires? It is your turn. Twisted Evil

SeverianofUrth · Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 12:38 am Post subject:

Oh ho... damn. Forgot about that. You don't mind waiting a little, do you? Let me finish this series up, then finish Invasion of NOOBS, then I'll get back to it. Sorry, man. And thanks for the comments. And my AOL account got cancelled, so I don't even have internet access at home- let along IM. Typing this out on a library Cool

And again, thanks so much in advance for the comments- thank you.

thedarkfire · Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 1:23 am Post subject:

No complaints. Just pure greatness.

CoLd BlooDed · Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 3:10 am Post subject:

Loved it. Very evil.

Oh, and don't mistake my words. I mean pure fucking evil. Twisted Evil

Great stuff.

russ687 · Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 5:09 am Post subject:

Nicely done.

Some mistakes here and there -- I know you can improve on that a bit. Plot is good and I'm enoying the feel of the story. Good job.

-Russ

Azrael · Member Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 504 Location: Boston

I'm really liking your dialouge.

Hahaha, killing the O'Connor brothers, eh? Let me tell you; Connors, no matter the vowel preceeding, are hard mothers to take down. Smile

Oh, you'll get yours, Sev. You'll get yours... Twisted Evil

This was an excellent addition. Keep these coming, you've done yourself proud with this series thus far.
_________________
...now that's some gritty shizzle.

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Just as a small tip: When you abbreviate stuff, you don't have to use periods after it (ie- U.S.A.). It just looks smoother when you just have capped letters (ie- USA or MAC).

Saw some small mistakes here and there. So keep a big eye out for that kind of thing. I can understand using a library comp, but do proofread carefully with what time you have.

Overall, this was a good continuation. I can't say I didn't notice the small flow or detail issue, but it was pretty good. Keep up the good work.
_________________
-MCC

SeverianofUrth · Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:56 pm Post subject:

Thanks, everyone.

Oh, and yes I'll start watching for the small errors- I apologize for that.

Caleb the Jackal · Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 1:40 am Post subject:

Wow I really liked this installation. I just wish these were longer that is my only complaint. And it really isn't a complaint, just an idea. I can understand typin in on a lybrary comp.

Well keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Caleb

Chuckles · Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:07 pm Post subject:

I will read this soon. I was on a trip last weekend and accidentally fell asleep last night or I would have done it already. I have to read Azrael's epilogue as well. Man, gone four days and I'm horribly behind Very Happy

C.T. Clown

Chuckles · Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 6:46 am Post subject:

Another good one, although I don't know if I can approve of something so dark Wink

You have a nice story going here and I can't think of anything to gripe about. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

C.T. Clown

Commander Demitri Wolf · Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 9:48 pm Post subject: