HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

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The Strive to Survive (Chapter 14: Turning the Tables)
Posted by CoLd BlooDed (broken_lizard12@hotmail.com)
14 August 2004, 5:26 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=cold_blooded.08140405263014.html

thedarkfire · Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 5:45 pm Post subject:

great as always CoLd Smile

CoLd BlooDed · Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:20 am Post subject:

Thanks, darkfire.

Oh, and to anyone else who reads this - Chapter 15 is the end of this series, plus the Epilogue.

The Strive to Survive is coming to an end, people!

SeverianofUrth · Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:35 am Post subject:

th-th-the e-end? h-how can t-th-this be? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nick Kang · Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:16 pm Post subject:

Always great, CoLd.

I remember back, after you had written ch. 10, I hadn't read any of the series yet. Then, when I was sick and staying home from school, I read the entire series in an hour and never let my eyes wander off the screen.

And now it's coming to an end Crying or Very sad

!
_________________
Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Another great addition to this series. A shame it has to end, but it would have had to sometime or another. Though you could have a sequel...
Anyway, a few mistakes here and there, but nothing major. I was confused at a few places, but only a little; maybe the way it was written or the way I took it.
Anway, keep up the good work, and you best be sure to make your eneding a dusy (Hmm... the way you're taking this sounds familiar... )
_________________
-MCC

CoLd BlooDed · Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:06 pm Post subject:

Heh, yeah, if you're relating it to Halo then you're right. However, the ending won't be too much like that of the game - I'm hoping, at least.

I'm thinking of a sequel, but I have too much to do after this.

Chuckles · Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:38 pm Post subject:

Nicely done. Your imagery is rich and you have several quotable sentences in there, especially about the monitor: which means your writing has a certain style. One way I know whether I really liked a writer is if I remember any of their lines. Excellent imagination. Your details are kind of like those in a Sergio Leone movie: they add to the richness of the style, but sometimes leave us wondering exactly what is going on. It might be good if every once in a while your story took a breath, stepped back and established the setting. This, combined with your excellent imagery, could sharpen your style and quicken the pace.

Let me say it again: you have a handful of quotable sentences in there, and that is rare for fanfiction. Most folks just get the story on the page. It takes something extra to do it with style.

Great job.

C.T. Clown

CoLd BlooDed · Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004 8:23 pm Post subject:

Thank you kindly, Chuckles - you don't know how much I appreciate comments like that.

This chapter was worthwhile, and took me about four or five days to complete. I'm trying to finish off this series with people wishing it went on longer.

Thanks again.