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The Devil's Maw: Part 2

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 10:33 pm    Post subject: The Devil's Maw: Part 2 Reply with quote

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The Devil's Maw: Part 2
Posted by Conrad Lauf (conniesworld_aka_hell@hotmail.com)
10 August 2004, 10:19 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=conrad_lauf.0810041019022.html
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Brigade_of_marines
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
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Location: Jacksonville, Florida

PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tihs isn't my area of expertise, but please, could you indent. You may not have to, but to some it may make it easier to read. Otherwise good story. Shouldn't charged plasma be slightly locking on to it's target? Is this guy a spartan or a Marine? Otherwise good story.
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Conrad Lauf
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Please forgive me Brigade, but I don't really know what indenting is. I looked for its explanation on the Directions For Submitting pages, but couldn't find out. Could you help at all? Oh, and Argave is a SPARTAN

Cheers Very Happy
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Conrad Lauf
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yeah, and although I know plasma is slightly lock-onable, I don't think it really matters that much in a story.
Cheers
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Wado
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Joined: 26 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Conrad Lauf wrote:
Please forgive me Brigade, but I don't really know what indenting is. I looked for its explanation on the Directions For Submitting pages, but couldn't find out. Could you help at all? Oh, and Argave is a SPARTAN

Cheers Very Happy


Instructions for pseudo code such as adding indents can be found here: http://halosn.bungie.org/misc/ffformdirections.html

You don't need to indent, you can add extra line returns between paragraphs like what you did at the beginning of the story.

Just make sure that the story looks good in the preview before submitting the story. When you don't use indent or extra line feeds (double space, etc.) then it makes the story visually harder to read.

Anyway, keep up the writing.
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Brigade_of_marines
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

THIS SUCKS!!!!! A dumb hurricane is coming to hit florida. I really hate hurricanes. The only thing goood is that if we're lucky we get a day off of school. Oh, and thanks Wado. I didn't know about the double spacing. it's nice to learn something everyday. And if you write a story how Haloy should it be... I have a story thats good but it may not be Haloy enough and I don't know if it could work. So is there any form of help i can get to answering these questions?
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Brigade_of_marines
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

THIS SUCKS!!!!! A dumb hurricane is coming to hit florida. I really hate hurricanes. The only thing goood is that if we're lucky we get a day off of school. Oh, and thanks Wado. I didn't know about the double spacing. it's nice to learn something everyday. And if you write a story how Haloy should it be... I have a story thats good but it may not be Haloy enough and I don't know if it could work. So is there any form of help i can get to answering these questions?
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Wado
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Joined: 26 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 4:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brigade_of_marines wrote:
THIS SUCKS!!!!! A dumb hurricane is coming to hit florida. I really hate hurricanes. The only thing goood is that if we're lucky we get a day off of school. Oh, and thanks Wado. I didn't know about the double spacing. it's nice to learn something everyday. And if you write a story how Haloy should it be... I have a story thats good but it may not be Haloy enough and I don't know if it could work. So is there any form of help i can get to answering these questions?


Well take care, hurricanes are nothing to spit at.

You could try asking the Haloy question in the Halo Fan Fiction Source forum http://s94962042.onlinehome.us/~rkz/forums/
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You do a good job with your action. Getting your character in and out of several life threatening situations can be hard, especially when he is acting alone. It isn't often you see a story that is action all the way through.

I don't indent, I use block paragraphing. After each paragraph I double space, like what Wado told you. Some people don't like it, but it makes it easier on my eyes than just indenting. In the end, choose any paragraphing style that you are comfortable with, just as long as you paragraph.

Good job.

C.T. Clown
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