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The Invasion of the NOOBS:Groundworks 1/2

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 10:33 pm    Post subject: The Invasion of the NOOBS:Groundworks 1/2 Reply with quote

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The Invasion of the NOOBS:Groundworks 1/2
Posted by SeverianofUrth (residentpark@aol.com)
9 August 2004, 11:29 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=severianofur.0809042329504.html
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Nick Kang
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now Chuckles can't be very stealthy with them there bells on his boots.

Am I in command of the operation? Cause Steady-K outranks me.

I laughed when I read about CoLd mumbling 'eh' to the wall Laughing .

Overall, awesome. All the chapters don't have to be action-packed. There has to be a break in the fighting every once in a while, which is why I liked this section so much.
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 3:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nick, why would Chuckles even attempt stealth when there are n00bs to be fragged? They hear noise, they follow noise and BOOM they get fragged.

I'll give you an actual review a little later Sev.

C.T. Clown
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must find the antidote! Evil or Very Mad I don't like being infected, I never say "eh?", NEVER! Twisted Evil

Anyways, awesome chapter, I feel your stories don't need much action because they star us in them - which is just as exciting.

Keep it up.
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STYDK
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

edit

Last edited by STYDK on Mon Sep 14, 2009 12:35 am; edited 1 time in total
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Sgt. Slacker
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice job, Sev. I'm digging me Laughing


I wanna burn some n00bs!

ooo...Napalm....

Oh, and 9.7/10
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White elite
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Joined: 31 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 5:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

best series i'm reading that's funny keep it up SeverianofUrth
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MC's Cousin
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I like it so far. I was too distracted by your every-sentense-quirky-things to notice any major mistakes.

"Severian! NOOOO!" shouted MCC.
The Private simply laughed with glee as he aproached the auto-fighting (supposed-to-beCovieKilla's) suit.
"Don't! It's got security stuff in it! If you get in it and you're not CovieKilla it automatically crushes your...."

Er, maybe that's how I would write it... but still. That is my style of security though . . .

CoLd, I'd hate to point this out, but you just said "eh?" It doesn't matter if it's in quotes or not-but wait! That would mean... RUN!
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 12:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woo-hoo! Thanks, all.
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice job Severian. I've always had the Clown in MJOLNIR armor, but--since this is a comedy--having him act like a circus clown from hell is just fine.

Wow, you worked just about everybody in there. You've even got Solidus doing an evil male Cortana. Wicked.

C.T. Clown
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