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The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010)

 
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eb4642
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:52 pm    Post subject: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010) Reply with quote

IT RETURNS

Since the last Fic Pick was around New Year time, and there's been a lot since then (including a large amount of stuff that has made me lose the will to live) I've decided that we'll skip forward and just do this week's submissions. Which, it must be said, is quite a good bunch.

In no particular order, let's start with...
Waking Up - Chapter 1 by kabu
I like this. Let's get this straight: I'm a sucker for AI stories. It's a fascinating realm that I feel is rather underexplored in 'official' canon, especially given Bungie's history with AIs (they managed to weave a superb AI story in the Marathon series.)

This story has an intriguing premise: a woman is murdered, and her brain is then used as a template for an AI. This could go several ways, but it looks like a great set-up for a good whodunit story with some psychodramatic undertones.

Where Falcons Dared - Commitment by Gallagher and Jake Trommer
Maybe it's because I've never played Mass Effect, but I just find it very hard to understand a lot of this stuff. It's also way too heavy on description - unfortunately, this is a negative tendency that both of you share. I want to know whether the Mr. X you've just introduced is a nice guy, whether he's a goodie/baddie and whether or not he's going to hit it off with Miss Y. I don't care about his inside leg measurement.

Also, this is a minor gripe, but it's easy to see who's written what because of inconsistent formatting. (Hint: it's in the line breaks.)

Either way, it was reasonably well-written, so well done - I, however, am probably not your target audience. Razz

Orion - The Knife's Edge by Raspberry
Reading the Captain's stuff is like sex with a passionate lover living on another continent: it's almost torturously (albeit necessarily) infrequent, but it's absolutely brilliant and when it happens you don't want it to stop.

I did, however, see one minor mistake:
Quote:
"Be ready," he muttered, though with the deep timber of his voice it carried far.


Surely you meant the deep timbre of his voice? Wink Either way, although I'm usually not a huge fan of Insurrectionist stuff, I like this. A lot.

Halo: Clairvoyance - Chapter 4 by Halochief89
It's better written than most of the stuff we come across here, but overall this is rather standard fare. Aside from various formatting and punctuation errors, the plot is rather generic and it just feels like it's both highly derivative and rather dull.

"Highly derivative" is not necessarily a bad thing. Avatar, for example, is a highly derivative movie, but many people (of which I am not one) think it's the best thing since sliced bread. At any rate, it's a decent movie, because its execution is very good.

The same thing, I think, is going on here: what you have is something that's executed OK, but doesn't really have much of an impact. So, in short, you have a McDonald's Happy Meal.

This is a double-edged sword: on the one hand, you really need to improve your pacing, narrative style and plotting. On the other hand, you're halfway there in that you've managed to produce something better than the gruel we usually see. I, for one, prefer McDonald's to gruel.

You can produce something that's absolutely brilliant: it just takes practice and some more interesting ideas. And fixing the few formatting and punctuation errors would help too Wink

Either way, it's a good effort and I look forward to see what you come up with in the future.

And now, ranking time!
Second place, this week, goes to kabu for Waking Up. I'm a real sucker for AI stories, and this is a great one. Bon travail!

And, in first, for some strange, inexplicable reason, The Knife's Edge by Captain Raspberry is our first Fic Pick of the Week in months! Congratulations!

And, as promised, Raspberry will be getting a speedboat. On that bombshell, congratulations to the winners and thanks for reading! Very Happy
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kabu
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

<congratulatory statement to Raspberry>
<subtle gripe about not winning>
<thinly-veiled reference to eb's doubtful genetic history>
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CaptainRaspberry
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:35 pm    Post subject: Re: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 20 Reply with quote

eb4642 wrote:
Surely you meant the deep timbre of his voice? Wink


Listen, you goddamn Canadian/Brit/Aussie/Kiwi/whatever-other-nationality-that-makes-a-big-deal-about-that, let me give you an example:

After a hard day of fencing saber and working in the theater, I like to come home and take a hot shower.

Yeah. That's right. U! S! A!

I gotta say (though I'll leave most of it for my proper review) that I can dig the effort that's gone into the Halo/Mass Effect crossover genius of Jake and Gallagher. Kabu's usual fare of hilarity is its usual awesome. (And don't give me crap about capitalizing your name, kabs, it's at the start of the sentence.) Even the new guy has some serious potential, if we can nurture/beat it out of him.

Honestly, it was a pretty bumper crop this week. You did a great job, eb.
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kabu
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, he's right -- it's "timbre" in America too. "Timber" just means wood. According to my dictionary they actually have different greek/latin roots.
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CaptainRaspberry
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kabu wrote:
Actually, he's right -- it's "timbre" in America too. "Timber" just means wood. According to my dictionary they actually have different greek/latin roots.


Yeah... I just wanted to give him a hard time.

Because I'm a jerk.
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kabu
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jerk.
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fallschirmjager
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well if you excuse me I'm going to go take a showre... Seriously we spell it "shower" like everyone else...

Here's a good one, for Rasberry's prize, I hope your cheque doesn't bounce eh, mate?

Differences are fun.
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Shurmanator
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Joined: 14 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:18 am    Post subject: Re: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 20 Reply with quote

eb4642 wrote:


"Highly derivative" is not necessarily a bad thing. Avatar, for example, is a highly derivative movie, but many people (of which I am not one) think it's the best thing since sliced bread.


Okay I have a feeling that we cannot have a single post on this forum without mentioning Avatar at least once.
Most times its my fault, but still.

ANYWHO, glad to see the fan-fic pick is back, and congrats Raspberry. Now go get this shit published and stop making us look bad Razz
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Harbringer352
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damn, the one week I don't post anything!

Very Happy Good job, Raspberry. You definitely deserved that.
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