HBO Fan Fiction

[The 14th Wonder]

A light load this week but an interesting one: promising stuff from some newer guys!

First up, Halo: Sangheili by acd137
Obviously, this doesn't have much business being posted as fanfic; it's essentially a summary with some game details. That said, this is a bit different than such submissions we get here in that it's actually a pretty nifty idea for a story as opposed to a fanboy wankfest.
The Point: If acd was up to writing this as a story, then it could potentially be quite cool. If not, maybe one of you other ruffians would have some interest.... Presently, though, this is just a fan's idea for a game and we're all well aware of what happens to those. Or more accurately, what doesn't happen...

To the goodies:

An Honorable Mention* for Anders and the Arbiter by Spartan R41
Spartan R41 brings us what appears to be a novelization of a portion of Halo Wars (I've never played the game). R41 is very unique as a first-time submitter: his GPS is excellent. I am perhaps the most zealous grammar Nazi I know, and while this isn't quite perfect (No submission here ever has been.) I will say it's just as good in this department as just about anything I've read here. It's wonderful to see that from a new guy. Creatively, though, this story isn't quite up to snuff. It's obviously a bit handcuffed to an existing story line, but thus far it's a plot structure we're quite familiar with and it doesn't move forward much.
The Point:Superb mechanics (aside from a few awkward/forced word choices) and a solid handle on style, but a less-than-grand plot so far (Though I have no idea how much I have Ensemble to thank that for). Assuming this is continued as a series (and I hope it is) the plot could very well become more interesting.

And the winner is:

Veracity: Assurance by Shurmanator
Shurmanator brings a very good and, by the end, very chilling piece. I haven't read the other part, so I'm not sure if I'm missing anything, but it didn't feel that way. Stylistically and with his concept, Shurm did an absolutely fabulous job; I really enjoyed this all the way through. BUT (and in the way that Sir Mix-A-Lot likes 'em**) he does have many a clumsy GPS error (in English and Spanish ) and self-proclaimed grammar Nazi that I am, I get a teensy bit queasy handing out this Fic Pick. Though I will say this: even in my book, style and story still trump mechanics and Shurm did great with those two things.
The Point: This is looking to be a great series. If he gets his grammatical act together, Shurm is well on his way to being one of HBOFF's finest. Well-earned Fic Pick.

And that's all I got. Gents, how bout you do these boys a favor and drop 'em a comment would ya?***

*While I wouldn't normally even mess with an Honorable Mention when there were only two real submissions, R41 earned exactly that: an honorable mention for his mechanical merits
**If you got the reference, twelve gold stars.
***To certain Fic Pickers who have gone before, here's hoping you don't mind my use insignificant asterisked notes

[kr1]

Good work, Wonder, and to this week's submitters. I only skimmed the selections so far besides acd's, so I need to go back for a proper comment, but things looked pretty good this week.
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