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Frequently Unasked Questions

 
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SYSTEM
The Hammer


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 3737
Location: Sierra Hotel.

PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:33 pm    Post subject: Frequently Unasked Questions Reply with quote

Who the fuck wrote this? Why did you need a FUQ?
You and I both, bro.

What's the conversion from millimetres to inches?
25.4mm = 1in

This is puerile.
That wasn't a question. Next please?

What's your favourite baseball team?
Who're we talking to?

Is "Frequently Unasked Questions" a paradox?
The next sentence is true. The previous one is not.

You don't sound like Louis Wu.
I am senior drill instructor Wu! From now on the first and last things I want to hear out of your stinking holes is SIR! Do I make myself clear? Bullshit, I can't hear you! Drop to the ground and give me twenty, maggot! Bullshit, you call that a push-up? All the way down, maggot! Do you suck dicks? Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

Oh wait, that was totally the wrong script.

Is Dave really watching me?
Hell no, that was an in-joke that's been dead for a few years now.

What metal is best for Starships?
Why don't you ask NASA?

Have you got any cheese?
<insert Montypython reference here.>

How about cake then?
If you're trying to get me to make a Portal reference, you're doing it wrong.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much as the human assisting it can.

What gets better gas mileage, a Subaru Outback or a Jeep Cherokee?
The Outback.

What's the best way to escape from a mall ninja?
Tell him you're considering buying some new gear and ask him if there's any advantage in buying genuine domestically-made equipment like his over the imported knockoffs, then run while he explains his answer. You should have a couple hours to get away.

Does anyone hear speak Klingon?
The only two languages I speak are English and Profane. Often simultaneously.

Can I ask you a question?
Sounds like you just did.

Who's hotter, Jessica Alba or Megan Fox?
Both should have a body temperature exactly thirty seven within plus or minus point seven degrees centigrade, making them equal until one of them catches a fever.
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SYSTEM | HBOFF Administrator | "Anytime, Baby!"

I apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. I will get to you shortly.
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