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Fic Pick of the Week (June 12th)

 
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 481
Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:12 pm    Post subject: Fic Pick of the Week (June 12th) Reply with quote

A great crop of stories this week.

The Not-Quite-There-But-Keep-Working-Chums-Category

III's Company, by Tom Edlin

Almost there: Work on your formatting--probably the easiest thing to improve--and keep on submitting. It'd be nice if you joined the community here as well, and began participating in the whole reviewing process.

The story was rather disappointing. Writing didn't seem too bad, but nothing about the plot is exciting or new.

Desperate Measures: Part Two, by Jack Lang

Keep going: Your formatting is much improved, but you still need to remember to double space after every paragraph, or use the [indent] command in the submission page.

The story suffers from being the same old, generic military thriller that fails to thrill. Keep working.



Honorable Mention:

Soldier Girl: Part 11: Castle in the Hole, by Adam Stark, aka Xvash2

Good, I guess?: Because I wasn't too familiar with the plot, their mad drive up the road seemed a bit too reckless. However, the writing is more than decent and hits a surprisingly poetic pitch at times. Good stuff, and while the previous entry won the Ficpick last week, a stronger crop of stories meant that this one will have to settle for the Honorable Mention.



Second Place:

The Bright Green Drop: Clothes, by eb4642

Much better: I think I've made my feelings clear on this point--the letter in your last chapter absolutely ruined it, and while no one else thought that it detracted much from your story, the language used in the letter--along with the tone with which the Chief wrote--seemed excessively juvenile, and clashed horribly with the picture of the Chief as some emotionally damaged war-hero/soldier, instead of a weeping kid dressed in black cutting himself with Bic pens.

This particular chapter was much more enjoyable than the last, because the reader's emotional response isn't dependent on a highly contrived plot device. The Chief's catalog of wounds was vividly described, and the protagonist's reaction mirrored that of us, the readers. Great chapter.



First Place:

Vestal Sins: Prologue: City Upon A Hill

Huh?: It's not often that a new writer can make such immediate effect on the fanfiction community here, but judging by the responses on Arthur's comment page, this new writer--who I have never heard of, never read, and have never talked to--is set to make a serious dent in HBOFF with his monstrous story.

The stage is set, the table is ready, the gun is loaded, the baby is ready to pop out--expectation is high. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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Azrael
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Were you kidding with the Arthur-as-newb comment? Arthur's been around for a LONG time, and always submits quality stuff. I'm eagerly anticipating his next series.
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SeverianofUrth
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Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Azrael wrote:
Were you kidding with the Arthur-as-newb comment? Arthur's been around for a LONG time, and always submits quality stuff. I'm eagerly anticipating his next series.


Quote:
Best Story of the Week: Arthur Wellesley's A Forlorn Hope.
Why? Sexy title.

As enjoyable as Jin1's submission was, and as well-written (in my opinion) as Clancyrdr's entry was, neither of the two had the same degree of complexity as Arthur's submission. What I want to get here is that A Forlorn Hope doesn't feel the need to sharply divide its characters into black-and-white; neither 'side' is completely good, or evil, and the conflict within the story is a moral one, solved not with bullets, but... uh, actually, moral conflicts do have the tendency to be resolved with bullets, but still, what I want to get here is that Arthur offers to the reader the freedom to define their own villains and heroes.

Go read it now.
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eb4642
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Joined: 09 May 2009
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Location: The Dark Tower of NW10

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Fic Pick of the Week (June 12th) Reply with quote

SeverianofUrth wrote:
The Bright Green Drop: Clothes, by eb4642


Eh? It's actually the Bright Green Dot. [/pedant] Wink

Congratulations to Arthur: Vestal Sins was brilliant, and I'm looking forward to the continuation.
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha, oh man, I was thinking of the coughdrop when I was writing that--sorry, eb.
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eb4642
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SeverianofUrth wrote:
Haha, oh man, I was thinking of the coughdrop when I was writing that--sorry, eb.


No problem. I very nearly made that mistake when submitting it. Smile
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"(don't take this review too seriously) If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS??"
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kabu
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whoa, Az isn't dead! Hey Az!

If you didn't see that thing with Guardian, well, you missed something pretty entertaining.

Anyway, we had another one of those really good weeks this time around. Gongrats to Arthur, who took the unusual but ultimately wise step of warning us of his story before posting it, and to eb for anther great entry into this series.

And that was some seriously fast turnaround for the pic, sev.
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Arthur Wellesley
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the win, Sev. Much appreciated Smile

Quote:
Whoa, Az isn't dead! Hey Az!


I was starting to think the same thing. I was going to volunteer for the search party. My guess? This guy probably actually has things he's gotta do.

Loser.

- Arthur
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Current Project: Vestal Flame. Current Word Count: 27,017
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Xvash2
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Joined: 10 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the recognition, its certainly inspired me to continue the story instead of writing two entries, suffering massive amounts of writer's block, and then doing nothing for eight months.

In other words, I'm glad to know someone actually reads this stuff.
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Tedlin
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Joined: 08 Jun 2009
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Location: England

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the inclusion, haven't written anything in such a long time so I thought I'd post the old stuff before starting on the new.
I had hopes for that series but It kind of just got stuck after that point and I couldn't really think of anything original with that setting.
Prehaps I'll blow the dust off of my notepad this weekend and see if I can't get the gears turning.

Thanks
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