HBO Fan Fiction

SeverianofUrth · Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 11:49 pm Post subject: Fic Pick of the Week (May 8th)

The stories that couldn't quite make it up there:
In no particular order.

The Silver Box, by themanofthepimps
Heads explode over and over. The 'twist' at the end doesn't work. Aliens die and die again, then die once more. Keep on working, there is, as usual, potential. But your heroes are a bit too capable.

Halo Clone Wars: Chapter 11 by Enthrone Darkness Triumphant
It's a decent story. I could care less about how much capslock you decide to use, its your story. However, I'd like to suggest that most times, just a single exclamation mark--along with the dialogue itself--is enough to convey to the reader that this guy is SCREAMING. I can't comment on the plot itself, since I'm... kinda lost, it being chapter eleven and all.

A Star Wars cross-over. I've seen it done, and this was better than most, but not all. (Shameless self-advertisement coming--or not.)

No Place for Heroes, Ch.1, by DevilsInjector
Satan's shaft has improved! I remember reading Worth Fighting For a while back and thinking that you had a long way to go. A decent story, but not great. You are getting better with each submission. I feel like I just gave birth to a glorious new age of sunshine and more sunshine. So much fucking sun down here in the Southwest. God. Sweating like a pig right now.

Honorable Mentions:

Trigger, by 4642 Elitist Bastard
A very sentimental piece, but I liked it. Formatting issues, however, hold it back. While it was never hard to follow and never devolved into a giant, messy wall of text, just remember to either double space each line or place a [indent] tag before the start of every paragraph.

Kabu commented that it'd be best not to dwell on just what I'd do with this story. That's easy. I'd add clowns and unicorns.

A borderline great story. But I did find it a bit too melodramatic. That, and formatting issues, held it back from placing second.

Attack on Installation 6, Part 19, by Jake Trommer
I remember skimming through his last chapter and thinking to myself, is this it? His new submission, however, is beefy and Trommer is comfortable with the setting and his characters. One interesting addition to what is turning out to be something epic.

Second Place:

Reveille, Part IV, by kr142616
A quick read. Tied to his series Amethyst, which I am not familiar with. A good read, a fun read. I suggest everyone go read this now--its short and quick and reminds you that not everything within the Halo universe is about guns and adolescent boys teabagging each other.

The Winner:

Lovedog: A Seven Days Story, by...

Oh, sorry.

Power of the Letter - From Tulane, by Captain Raspberry
I was disappointed by the fact that Kabu did not submit this weekend. I was looking forward to setting ablaze the budding rivalry between you two and profiting off it as a result. I imagined myself dangling the top prize while you two bid against each other with promises of future ficpick wins, coupons to KFC and discrete donations into my bank account.

Damn it, Kabu.

Loved the story. War is hell and despite the light-hearted tone that Captain sometimes uses, From Tulane is one grim fucking story.

I did think it odd that Man-Man was able to take out those... I shouldn't post spoilers here. I'll post a comment on your chapter instead. Regardless, this was a great chapter. Congratulations, and remember, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

Hur hur. Lolz.

Not really.

Seven submissions today.

Seven submissions again.

It is a sign.

Rockets in seven, bros. Rockets in seven.

kabu · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 1:41 am Post subject:

How the Hell did you post this so fast?

As I said, I really liked "Trigger." I can forgive a few formatting mistakes.

Don't worry, I'll co-ordinate with Raspberry next time, to make sure we post on the same day.

And you just came up with the best nickname for DiJ ever. THANK YOU.
_________________

SeverianofUrth · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 1:43 am Post subject:

No work tonight, so I had a little over a hour to read everything and stuff.

kr1 · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 4:18 am Post subject:

Heh, I took your place, Sev. Razz

Amethyst isn't really tied in so much as given a one-line reference in this, though. I tend to use it as "that miscellaneous glassed planet" when a Harvest reference won't do.

Congrats to everyone else. I've only read Jake's so far, but it looks like another solid week. And Sev, I remember thinking near the same thing about Dev's last submission. He's improved a lot.
_________________

Enth Darkness Triumphant · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 5:38 am Post subject:

Wow, just wow.
_________________
I Enthroned Darkness Triumphant,
With the Searing Trident of the Inferno

SeverianofUrth · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 5:42 am Post subject:

kabu · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 6:05 am Post subject:

Then why is your webcam so easy to hack?

BUT SERIOUSLY I don't think that's what Mr. Darkness was saying. Raspberry and I were both new when we started pulling top spots, and I didn't know anybody at all.
_________________

SeverianofUrth · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 6:11 am Post subject:

Maybe he's commenting on our fixation with him capitalizing stuff?

kabu · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 6:14 am Post subject:

Or perhaps just a generalized statement of surprise. The world may never know.
_________________