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Fic Pick of the Week (2/1/2009)

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UNSC Trooper

Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 81
Location: Overlooking a rebel hideout from an orbiting UEG patrol frigate.

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:02 pm    Post subject: Fic Pick of the Week (2/1/2009) Reply with quote

Fic Pick of the Week (2/1/2009)

Three submissons this week, people, ranging from all-action, tough-talking planetary deployments, a letter published in a 2552 magazine, and a thrilling story following a desperate group of friends we all know for a long time. Three submissions means there are just enough places to award the writers;

Echoes of the Past: Chapter 1, by Omega505

"Slow your butt down, 'doc!" Don't get me wrong, I like reading action scenes as much as Hulk Hogan likes to kick Iron Sheik's fat ass in WWF, but you're overdoing it here, pal. There's not ONE part in this fic that doesn't contain strong, abusive language between seemingly close friends, complete frankness towards superior officers on the part of a snotty Private, and a crapload of dull combat scenes that don't seem to carry the storyline any further. Omega, you need to work on dialog, balance your characters' roles in the story, and try to make the story a bit more easy to follow. Between almost constant cursing and badassery, the story sinks too deep inside the words for anyone to follow properly.

"Hey, I didn't know you could talk!" Despite the flaws I've listed above, the GPS style - compared to some other authors who submitted one fic and then forever vanished in the merciless depths of the interwebs - is fairly acceptable. There are some mix-ups; "court marshaled," for instance, and the occasional missing stop at the end of a sentence, but they're common with pretty much everyone who at one point of their lives decided to give writing a try. So overall, I encourage veterans of HBOFF to give this piece a read ... if only to comfort yourselves. Wink

Letters of a Corpsman: Voi, by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher

ENS = Extremely Nerv-breaking Story: Gallagher provides us the second insallment of his Letters of a Corpsman series, following Fate and Cold Death. He's got a pretty original template for these letters; they're actually (as I understand, anyways, it's never explicitly stated) a series of private letters between one Michelle Farrior and her husband, Randall Farrior, that were found and published by the editor of Veterans of Foreign Wars magazine. The entire concept of having a magazine dedicated to publishing personal writings of men and women who fought in the Human-Covenant War is magnificent to me. It's not something trivial like a TV show or a combat manual or a history book; it's a sentimental account of real, dead people! Anyways, Michelle clearly had a tough time in the war. Her convoy got attacked; she watched as her teammates fell to the Covenant one after another - and it's a Corpsman we're talking about here, she has to SAVE all those wounded Marines - and separated one of the Marines from the rest of the Brigade in order to "protect the others and himself" due to his deteriorating mental health. The feeling's there, like you could just sit and talk to Michelle and picture her experience first-hand.

"You suckas drugged me, didn't ya?" Gallagher doesn't have too many errors, but the ones he didn't correct definitely look like stains on this piece. He's got a few repetitions and incorrect plural forms, but the real thing that bothered me was the fact that he never mentions aspects of Michelle's pre-Marine Corps past, or her parents, relatives etc. She might be tough, but there's got to be something that brings her peace whenever she thinks about it. That's my only complaint. Go read this piece if you haven't already.

And the winner is ...

The Day Before Tomorrow: Part 3, by Azrael

"Doesn't this guy have a spot waiting for him in a library somewhere?" Need I remind you people what makes Azrael's fiction a solid, entertaining and intensely emotional read? Starting off with the crude, sexual joke in the beginning, the horror of having Grunts literally fart a few meters next to McManus and the others, the pure amazement when they met up with the bunch of freelance riflemen, and the firefight as they attempted to get their asses out of the city, the fic kept my butt on the chair through the whole read. I'm REALLY pleased to read a story involving students running for their lives as the Covenant invades the planet, natural conversations between people trying to stick together despite the apocalypse falling on humanity, and the thoughts that ran through their heads as they witnessed alien creatures walking toward them, hunger for death in their eyes, as opposed to reading about life-long service people getting orgasms everytime they look at their weapons. The one thing I found most representative of ordinary civilians facing the Covenant invasion was the Grunt scene. Grunts are midgets, they look like harmless monkeys and squeal cowardly lines to their comrades. Rachel, McManus and Parsons were scared of these things despite their looks. I'm only disappointed there weren't more submissions this week so this piece could have had some competition and still win.

"What, you're still not satisfied?" I only have ONE complaint about this piece - Az could have put more depth into the students' thoughts during the combat scene. I mean, for most of them, this is their first combat exprerience, right? I would imagine some contradicting, overwhelming feelings rush into them at that point. My complaint pales in the face of this hardcover-deserving fic, though.

And with that, I'm putting an end to this week's rather short Fic Pick. Hey, I can't complain; I only had three fics to read and two of them were quality entries.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bang my head against the floor for getting behind on my OWN fiction.
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher

Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 1218
Location: Always here to help

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats, Az!

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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