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HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index
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  Topic: The Way It Is
kr1

Replies: 1
Views: 4071

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 5:49 pm   Subject: The Way It Is
Excellent little story here, Raspberry. I was surprised when I popped back in here that one of the regulars had actually written something. But anyways, a nice shirt character study you've got here. N ...
  Topic: New Harmony
kr1

Replies: 5
Views: 4047

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:09 pm   Subject: New Harmony
It can just as much add to your skill in writing, especially in developing a unique voice for your POV character. I'd say writing from a child's perspective, but a very intelligent child, would be a c ...
  Topic: New Harmony
kr1

Replies: 5
Views: 4047

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:47 am   Subject: New Harmony
Yeah, there were a few times it wasn't clear exactly who the perspective was. As far as writing from a child's perspective, I'd just recommend a simplified use of language. Just think of what words a ...
  Topic: New Harmony
kr1

Replies: 5
Views: 4047

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:35 pm   Subject: New Harmony
Nice work here. I like the idea behind the story, and I've toyed with doing something similar myself in the past. There were some issues with perspective, I though, however. A lot of Shar's introspect ...
  Topic: Halo: After Life - Part I
kr1

Replies: 1
Views: 2793

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:26 pm   Subject: Halo: After Life - Part I
Sorry it took so long to comment on this, JD. I read it a while back and honestly didn't have much to say. I certainly liked it, but it's fairly short. Very bittersweet, the Cortana and Chief moments. ...
  Topic: ONI//S3 DATA NODE ONE
kr1

Replies: 1
Views: 2617

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:25 pm   Subject: ONI//S3 DATA NODE ONE
Interesting stuff, here. Is this a prologue to something else? Because it certainly seems to be setting up a future story.

Certain characters seemed a bit out of character, particularly Parangosky, ...
  Topic: ONI Sword Base
kr1

Replies: 9
Views: 6150

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:08 pm   Subject: ONI Sword Base
Go ahead and post what you've got! You've probably noticed that HBOFF is in a bit of a slump compared to our usual activity, so the more the better.
  Topic: ONI Sword Base
kr1

Replies: 9
Views: 6150

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:51 am   Subject: ONI Sword Base
For what it's worth, you do the combat well. The fault isn't in the writing, it's just the whole description of battle gets repetitive after a while. While it's interesting used sparingly, it doesn't ...
  Topic: ONI Sword Base
kr1

Replies: 9
Views: 6150

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:18 am   Subject: ONI Sword Base
Well, a simple solution instead of just glossing over combat could be to just use a line break to jump forward.

As far as Covenant names, in everything official (the novels, game manuals, etc) the ...
  Topic: ONI Sword Base
kr1

Replies: 9
Views: 6150

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 4:34 pm   Subject: ONI Sword Base
I've been meaning to get to your stuff. Sorry it took me so long to comment. You've got some good work here. The writing and characterization is solid, and you did Jorge justice when it comes to Halse ...
  Topic: Forgotten Lives - Histories
kr1

Replies: 3
Views: 3992

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:35 pm   Subject: Forgotten Lives - Histories
Quality as usual, Captain. Very interesting how it ties into your previous series, as well. Wasn't expecting that, but I always admire inter-fic continuity. It helps make it seem more like a real worl ...
  Topic: Bureau of Ship Design Memo to UNSC Security Committee 7/6/25
kr1

Replies: 3
Views: 3203

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:01 pm   Subject: Bureau of Ship Design Memo to UNSC Security Committee 7/6/25
I liked the idea behind this fic. That kind of universe-expanding look at Halo can be a lot of fun. I don't think you fully pulled it off, unfortunately. Some of your suggestions are kind of obvious, ...
  Topic: Onwards, towards the Ark
kr1

Replies: 2
Views: 3165

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:50 pm   Subject: Onwards, towards the Ark
I'm sorry it took me so long to comment on this. I actually read it a while back, and it really does go excellently with Bad Here Day. I like your usage of some of the more obscure Forerunner history, ...
  Topic: The Second Revolution: Intro
kr1

Replies: 2
Views: 3119

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:42 pm   Subject: The Second Revolution: Intro
I'm really a bit ashamed it took more than a month for any of us to comment on this, because it's really excellent, and an old regular deserves better than that.

I missed the GPS errors you mention ...
  Topic: Halo: Slayer
kr1

Replies: 1
Views: 2709

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:25 am   Subject: Halo: Slayer
I actually really enjoyed the concept of this. It's something I've always thought of doing myself, and it's neat. I like that it's all very sudden, and that your character doesn't really know what he' ...
 
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