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  Topic: The Opening Salvo - Rapier Team
kabu

Replies: 2
Views: 2621

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:36 am   Subject: The Opening Salvo - Rapier Team
Nitpicks: There are a few awkward phrases ("in one end and out the other end," seems a bit stilted, and a couple more.).

Other than that, I feel like this is a solid piece of writing. Yo ...
  Topic: What Once was Ours, chapter 7
kabu

Replies: 3
Views: 1510

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 2:54 am   Subject: What Once was Ours, chapter 7
I like this story. Not much to say on this one -- writing's solid, dialogue's solid, politics are really solid. A great chapter. Kudos.
  Topic: Waking Up - Chapter 1
kabu

Replies: 8
Views: 3071

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 5:19 pm   Subject: Waking Up - Chapter 1

The one thing that gets me, though, is your portrayal of AI memories. Don't get me wrong, it's thoroughly enjoyable to read, but I always thought it was pretty clear that AIs were pretty separate fr ...
  Topic: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010)
kabu

Replies: 8
Views: 5744

PostForum: Fan Fiction Reviews   Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:24 pm   Subject: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010)
Jerk.
  Topic: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010)
kabu

Replies: 8
Views: 5744

PostForum: Fan Fiction Reviews   Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:34 pm   Subject: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010)
Actually, he's right -- it's "timbre" in America too. "Timber" just means wood. According to my dictionary they actually have different greek/latin roots.
  Topic: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010)
kabu

Replies: 8
Views: 5744

PostForum: Fan Fiction Reviews   Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:34 pm   Subject: The Return of the Fic Pick of the Week (w/e 19 March, 2010)
<congratulatory statement to Raspberry>
<subtle gripe about not winning>
<thinly-veiled reference to eb's doubtful genetic history>
  Topic: Waking Up - Chapter 1
kabu

Replies: 8
Views: 3071

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:52 pm   Subject: Waking Up - Chapter 1
:D
  Topic: Guns and Swords
kabu

Replies: 4
Views: 1749

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:30 pm   Subject: Guns and Swords
Don't worry, it got read Smile

This is a good story, with some solid dialogue and pacing. I have only two main objections:
One, nobody can stand four meters tall without passing out every time the ...
  Topic: split
kabu

Replies: 4
Views: 1189

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:01 am   Subject: split
Skunk -- I'd just like to mention, we almost never get spammers here. This is a pretty bad first impression, I guess, but welcome to hboff anyway.
  Topic: What Once was Ours, chapter 6
kabu

Replies: 2
Views: 1449

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:25 pm   Subject: What Once was Ours, chapter 6
I don't have a lot of time to write this so I'm keeping it brief:

1 - This is, of course, up to your usual high standards of quality and a great read.

2 - Too many cameos, and if I'm not mistake ...
  Topic: Miklosfy Istvan - The Knife's Edge
kabu

Replies: 3
Views: 2367

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:14 pm   Subject: Miklosfy Istvan - The Knife's Edge
Huh. Got here to late to heap on the praise (pretty much what Galagher said), but let me just say that you could have cut the introduction in favor of a bit more exposition in the story.

Other tha ...
  Topic: Soldier Girl Part 14: Time to Go
kabu

Replies: 1
Views: 1300

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 7:11 pm   Subject: Soldier Girl Part 14: Time to Go
Another solid chapter, with some really excellently written action. The firefight was particularly gripping in this one. There were a few typos/missed commas here and there, but nothing that really ...
  Topic: In the Garden - Part Two
kabu

Replies: 4
Views: 2194

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:30 pm   Subject: In the Garden - Part Two
Instead of doing bits and pieces like this, I will be posting the story in its entirety this week. It's a bit under 7500 words, which is pretty reasonable.
  Topic: In the Garden - Part One
kabu

Replies: 10
Views: 3073

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:02 pm   Subject: In the Garden - Part One
Hm. You're right about the exposition, though I don't really see any way around that for what is essentially the prologue. I do want to refine this story though -- how would you suggest I introduce ...
  Topic: In the Garden - Part One
kabu

Replies: 10
Views: 3073

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 4:58 am   Subject: In the Garden - Part One
Also, for reference: This.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b5/Hummingbird-_among_and_Crocosmia.jpg/698px-Hummingbird-_among_and_Crocosmia.jpg
 
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