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HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index
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  Topic: Half-Life
eb4642

Replies: 9
Views: 9324

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:10 pm   Subject: Half-Life
I don't usually get into fan fiction, but this story really sucked me in. I thought you did a great job showing what Chief is like when he is not out on assignment in his armor. Thanks for sharing! ...
  Topic: Fap-Fap the Grunt
eb4642

Replies: 18
Views: 15994

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:01 am   Subject: Re: I always believe that what people write reflect themselv
Honestly I think this person has some talent in writing.

whoever he (or she) is, I concur with this sentiment because they seem to have, at least, mastered the art of chaining letters and syllables ...
  Topic: Half-Life
eb4642

Replies: 9
Views: 9324

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:16 pm   Subject: Half-Life
Thanks, guys.
  Topic: Half-Life
eb4642

Replies: 9
Views: 9324

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:07 am   Subject: Half-Life
Better, much better, late than never. Always.

And thank you, Captain. That means a lot coming from the person who wrote The Knife's Edge.
  Topic: Vengeance for a Sister
eb4642

Replies: 2
Views: 5017

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:43 pm   Subject: Vengeance for a Sister
Very good. I'm seeing a marked improvement in the quality of your dialogue (it's extremely sharp—it reads a little bit like Iain M Banks.)

I have a few criticisms, though. First, your punctuation e ...
  Topic: Revenge of a Goddess
eb4642

Replies: 2
Views: 4887

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:57 am   Subject: Revenge of a Goddess
As far as first submissions go (because, as a rule, they're terrible) this really surprised me. You've got a solid start of a good story here, and it's always great to see a new writer posting to HBOF ...
  Topic: Silver Horizon Prologue.
eb4642

Replies: 2
Views: 4938

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 6:54 pm   Subject: Silver Horizon Prologue.
I'm going to state this very clearly, because it seems everyone forgets this:

Elites. Are. Not. Humans.

Elites do not have the same social structures as humans. They probably don't have tear duc ...
  Topic: Halo: Ghost (Forerunner)
eb4642

Replies: 1
Views: 4466

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:46 am   Subject: Halo: Ghost (Forerunner)
Although I appreciate the effort that's gone into this, you must be more careful with your formatting. Paragraphing is important because otherwise you end up with a massive block of text that's imposs ...
  Topic: Limbs
eb4642

Replies: 2
Views: 4859

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 7:31 am   Subject: Limbs
Harb, you know I'm a sucker for anything involving AIs and Rampancy, so I do like this.

Just a few niggles:

You re-use the idiom of emotions "flooding her data banks" or "filling ...
  Topic: Half-Life
eb4642

Replies: 9
Views: 9324

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:49 am   Subject: Half-Life
Thanks, Harb.

...[URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jtU9BbReQk]Tharb!
  Topic: Haunted
eb4642

Replies: 2
Views: 4443

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:46 pm   Subject: Haunted
I hate to sound like a miserable sod, BUT...

Fix your formatting and punctuation.

Then I'll be more inclined to provide constructive criticism on the narrative flow, the glaring technical errors ...
  Topic: Halo: Second War part 5
eb4642

Replies: 4
Views: 3816

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:00 pm   Subject: Halo: Second War part 5
I quote this paragraph verbatim, emphasis added, simply because I saw it and my jaw dropped.

"Welcome to the Forward Unto Dawn, Lieutenants. I don't have ver strict rules, but if you got your ...
  Topic: Invasion Episode 2- A little Trip
eb4642

Replies: 6
Views: 4912

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:02 pm   Subject: Invasion Episode 2- A little Trip
This... isn't Halo fan fiction at all. In fact, aside from nebulous mentions of enigmatic aliens, there's nothing even remotely Halo-like about it. I'm not sure how this slipped into the update.

Ev ...
  Topic: Watch Over Me, Now
eb4642

Replies: 5
Views: 3908

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:53 am   Subject: Watch Over Me, Now
I'm afraid I'm going to play devil's advocate here.

This is an excellent piece. As has been mentioned, your bitter character voice is flawless. I don't even have to mention GSP. Your characters are ...
  Topic: Vinny - A077
eb4642

Replies: 1
Views: 1636

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:43 pm   Subject: Vinny - A077
(Warning: I am mildly cheesed off today and will be taking no prisoners.)

You stole Phae's writing handle. (Perhaps this was unintentional, in which case, I can forgive it.)
This is terrible. Trul ...
 
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