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  Topic: Half-Life

Replies: 9
Views: 10445

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:21 pm   Subject: Half-Life
Dammit, EB. Why you gotta be so good? It's been too long since you've published anything here and I'd forgotten what we were missing.

Sorry it took so long for me to review this. Life, y'know?
  Topic: Bonds

Replies: 1
Views: 4334

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:33 pm   Subject: Bonds
Very interesting. I would've thought most writers had given up on the Onyx plotline after Glasslands came out, but so far this could have happened during. I could see all this being prologue to a deep ...
  Topic: No turning back

Replies: 1
Views: 4481

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:19 pm   Subject: No turning back
It's interesting to see the way you flesh out Noble Six's background. Given her reputation later in life as a grim reaper, it seems very appropriate that she'd fight her old team as a test of her will ...
  Topic: Rolling Thunder!

Replies: 1
Views: 4286

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:04 pm   Subject: Rolling Thunder!
The rhythm seems off and some of the rhymes are a stretch (or are completely non-existent). Still, though, I like what you're trying here. It almost sounds like a battle poem.
  Topic: Reveille

Replies: 1
Views: 4231

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:00 pm   Subject: Reveille
Good stuff, man. I like poetry, though I don't know enough about it mechanically to comment on that. Of course, I seem to recall free verse having a lot more, well, freedom to do whatever it wants.
  Topic: Chaos Theory

Replies: 1
Views: 3893

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:56 pm   Subject: Chaos Theory
Hm. This is a very interesting story, but it feels like it should be part of some bigger series. We don't know what Demonakos is, though the Arbiter certainly seems to know him, and the references to ...
  Topic: Battle of New Alexandria Part 3

Replies: 1
Views: 4212

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:40 pm   Subject: Battle of New Alexandria Part 3
All right, read through the series. The first thing you need to work on is formatting. At the moment it's just a giant wall of text, which makes it very difficult to read. If you don't want to do inde ...
  Topic: Forgotten Lives - Histories

Replies: 3
Views: 4621

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 1:47 am   Subject: Forgotten Lives - Histories
I'm glad you're all liking it.

Yes, it could have been longer, but for the sake of pacing this one needed to be short. The next chapter will be longer and move the plot along another full bracket. ...
  Topic: The Price of Survival

Replies: 3
Views: 5045

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 2:33 am   Subject: The Price of Survival
God dammit. I forgot to include the series name in the title field.

That's gonna bug me to my grave.

I definantly got the chills near the end though.

If I may ask, what gave you chills? I'm g ...
  Topic: Providence Part One

Replies: 12
Views: 11082

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 2:47 pm   Subject: Providence Part One
I gotta say, this is a pleasant read. Very good writing, the dialog matches the personality we know about Sangheili without being too ornate (a trap a lot of writers fall prey to), and it's compelling ...
  Topic: White Daffodils

Replies: 4
Views: 4354

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 3:57 am   Subject: White Daffodils
It's a good story, Harb, and definitely one that nobody else has really tackled around here. For a while, I was wondering where it was going -- there wasn't any overt reference to Halo for a while, bu ...
  Topic: Wake Me, When You Need Me

Replies: 3
Views: 3753

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 3:55 am   Subject: Wake Me, When You Need Me
Sad, but so good.

I wonder, though: what happened to the Chief at the end there? Did Cortana wake him up and set him free, or did she kill him? It's a little ambiguous, and if it's supposed to be, ...
  Topic: The Stand - Rapier Team

Replies: 5
Views: 4054

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 3:53 am   Subject: The Stand - Rapier Team
All right, finally caught up. It's a good story, Delahunt. You had a few minor errors -- "to" instead of "too," some inappropriate semi-colons -- but nothing that was overall detra ...
  Topic: Invasion Episode 2- A little Trip

Replies: 6
Views: 5475

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:30 am   Subject: Invasion Episode 2- A little Trip
I never said that it had awesome spelling or puncuation, all I said was that the author was trying to develop the characters and seting before continuing on with a story. I would rather have an author ...
  Topic: Halo:The I.R.A Chronicles: Chapters 1&2

Replies: 1
Views: 2778

PostForum: Fan Fiction Comments   Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:14 pm   Subject: Halo:The I.R.A Chronicles: Chapters 1&2
First and least, the one thing that I recognized was wrong with this story is it not fitting canon. There's no Omega Company established in the universe, although there is an Omega Team. However, almo ...
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